...emotionally difficult to organize their funerals, wakes, flowers, churches, minister and other important things that I have completely overlooked the most important matter. How the hell do I get my hands on my inheritance ASAP? I want the money NOW!
Long story short. I am an only child and last week my mom and dad both died in a car accident. It was so...?
Wow. My dad actually died and I clicked on this to console you. I hope you never try this again because to some people, it's not actually amusing...
Reply:If what you are saying is true, I cannot believe that someone who has lost a Loved one, would be without feelings, in this case the Lose of Parents, if one of my Daughters would say the same thing you said, I would be turning in my Grave, and when I could come to Earth, in Spirt I would make that Daughter of mine, wish she was never Born.
I am not going to say anything anymore, because I don't want The Yahoo, answers team to take away some points.
Reply:What the fu*k is wrong with you!? your freakin parents that just died in a car accident. What are you a 1 year old? You just lost the two most important people in your life and all you care about is freakin money. That's sick and wrong.
You are so unbelieveable if this is true.
~Kylie~=P
Reply:Are you serious? This has to be a joke because if both of my parents or any of my close family members died i would give anything to even hear half a breath from them.
Reply:well talk to a lawyer, and go to the bank, show them the dealth certificate, and see if they left a will, if your old enough to be arranging all of this, you wouldnt be so greedy.
Reply:Wow, talk about heart breakingly touching .
You seriously have problems - ugh ! ;) ?
Reply:you've gotta be kidding me...this has got to be a joke if you are concerned about inheritance in this situation.
Reply:What an ignorant *** you are..... But the answer is see the lawyer... He will take care of all your desires. Grant M in Pennsylvania
Reply:Lmao. . . . They're both gonna come back and take you with them so you won't get $%*#.
Reply:go to a lawyer for advice
Reply:You little.. UGH! YOU HAVE TO BE JOKING!
WHAT KIND OF SPOILED LITTLE ... JACKA**
that is so. wrong.
it is so wrong that I don't even believe it is true.
Reply:Wow!!! Your really a sad case.
Reply:Just ask 'em!
Reply:Some people never grow up..
Reply:sorry for your loss.
umm, i think you get full access to the money when you turn 18.
Reply:i hope they left u nothing if u care that little about their funeral
selfish a**hole
Reply:wow...you def. have some issues you need to sort out FIRST!
Showing posts with label funeral flowers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funeral flowers. Show all posts
Sunday, February 5, 2012
In regarding the ppl who answered my first question about Muslim funerals especially habayeb?
I did know we were to cover our heads when we went to my friends funeral, I was one of the few ppl that knew before hand and my husband and I along with our niece went out especially to buy a head scarf for this occasion. I was only asking why we were required to. some of u don't need to be rude about it!!!!
Now I may as well ask one more question......
There were a lot of flowers and cards at the wife's funeral but none for the husband. I was so upset that my husband went to the kiosk and brought a bunch of beautiful white flowers to lay on the grave. Do Muslims lay flowers on graved? I ask because there were hardly any flowers on the other graves and we were in a section reserved especially for Muslims.
In regarding the ppl who answered my first question about Muslim funerals especially habayeb?
Friend, I myself was not aware of your other question, I don't know what country you are from, But here in the USA, many Religions has flowers or maybe a donation to that person favorite charity fund. My wife passed away in 1989 %26amp; she had flowers from many people. I know even here in the USA, the Muslum population may not have flowers,
Reply:OK let me try and give you a proper answer since Ive received 9 years of pure Islamic education.
Covering the head for a woman is a sign of modesty in Islam. It is required under all situations and not just funerals.
If people do it for the funeral..this is a cultural thing and not really islamic at all.
as for the flowers and the cards, these are still very much cultural and islam does not say anything about putting or not putting flowers on graves.
this is left upto the person..
the only thing Islam says is not to cry and wail out loud when visiting the graves..as it is a sign of immaturity and is disrespectful to the dead lying there.
Reply:you don't want to know
you want to insult
because you know by asking these kinds of questions some retarded will just insult Islam and that is what you want
not so smart
Reply:You said in your earlier question that your friends died suddenly and unexpectedly.
Funerals are rituals that people use to try to "put to into place" the profoundly disturbing experience of death.
It is very normal for people to want everything to go "right" and smoothly, and for the proper customs and observances to take their natural course. It's a kind of reassurance in the face of a shocking occurrence.
While few deaths are entirely expected, in this case it sounds like many people are struggling particularly hard to make this "right". This is to be expected.
Please give yourself the space to grieve in the ways that make sense to you personally. Don't worry too much about whether the formal ritual was "good enough" or not.
Reply:Don't be upset.
Sometimes muslyms can get really ANGRY.
Take Care.
Reply:if you go with a hijab to the funeral you are showing respect to Muslim traditions not to the late person.
Muslims don't use flowers in their funerals it is just a matter of tradition.
God bless
BTW your questions were very polite and showed that you cared to understand the traditions of Muslims. I am sorry that you had some rude answers as you said but they MAY not be Muslims who were rude
Now I may as well ask one more question......
There were a lot of flowers and cards at the wife's funeral but none for the husband. I was so upset that my husband went to the kiosk and brought a bunch of beautiful white flowers to lay on the grave. Do Muslims lay flowers on graved? I ask because there were hardly any flowers on the other graves and we were in a section reserved especially for Muslims.
In regarding the ppl who answered my first question about Muslim funerals especially habayeb?
Friend, I myself was not aware of your other question, I don't know what country you are from, But here in the USA, many Religions has flowers or maybe a donation to that person favorite charity fund. My wife passed away in 1989 %26amp; she had flowers from many people. I know even here in the USA, the Muslum population may not have flowers,
Reply:OK let me try and give you a proper answer since Ive received 9 years of pure Islamic education.
Covering the head for a woman is a sign of modesty in Islam. It is required under all situations and not just funerals.
If people do it for the funeral..this is a cultural thing and not really islamic at all.
as for the flowers and the cards, these are still very much cultural and islam does not say anything about putting or not putting flowers on graves.
this is left upto the person..
the only thing Islam says is not to cry and wail out loud when visiting the graves..as it is a sign of immaturity and is disrespectful to the dead lying there.
Reply:you don't want to know
you want to insult
because you know by asking these kinds of questions some retarded will just insult Islam and that is what you want
not so smart
Reply:You said in your earlier question that your friends died suddenly and unexpectedly.
Funerals are rituals that people use to try to "put to into place" the profoundly disturbing experience of death.
It is very normal for people to want everything to go "right" and smoothly, and for the proper customs and observances to take their natural course. It's a kind of reassurance in the face of a shocking occurrence.
While few deaths are entirely expected, in this case it sounds like many people are struggling particularly hard to make this "right". This is to be expected.
Please give yourself the space to grieve in the ways that make sense to you personally. Don't worry too much about whether the formal ritual was "good enough" or not.
Reply:Don't be upset.
Sometimes muslyms can get really ANGRY.
Take Care.
Reply:if you go with a hijab to the funeral you are showing respect to Muslim traditions not to the late person.
Muslims don't use flowers in their funerals it is just a matter of tradition.
God bless
BTW your questions were very polite and showed that you cared to understand the traditions of Muslims. I am sorry that you had some rude answers as you said but they MAY not be Muslims who were rude
What do you say to a friend when they lose a loved one?
Do you say anything or avoid it? Do you go to the funeral or viewing? Do you send flowers or a card? How do you handle it?
What do you say to a friend when they lose a loved one?
I lost my dad in 2004, and I am still not over it. There is not much you can say. You can let your love one know that you are their for them, and that if they want to talk your phone line is always open. There is something nice that someone did for me tho, they had an brass dove ornament engraved with my dad's name on it with date of birth and when he passed. I love that ornament because I can put it on my christmas tree, and just remember a few good memories, and it is like having a peice of him with me. Another thing is to pray for them that they are comforted in a way that is best for them. God bless :)
Reply:tell ur friend that he/she will get the best for next round. trust me!
Reply:offer lots of body language and few words.Actions speaks louder than words.Be a shoulder to cry on. Your presence at the funeral will be more support than you can imagine. Try distracting your friend from the grieving situation;possibly by taking them somewhere that doesn't spells death. to many words can cause added grief on this occasion.
Reply:i say if iyou need me for anything please call then after a week chex to see if they r doing ok yes if ur a close friend go to the viewing
Reply:Just let them know you feel for them, and you are there for them. If they request you come, or if you feel you knew their relative well enough, go. If not, you aren't obligated. A card would definetely be good, but flowers are not necessary. When a life long friend of mine lost his grandfather, whom I had been around for my friends life, I went and was there for him.
Reply:sometimes its best to not say anything at all. that happened to me and it made it worse sometimes when people said somethin about it. when they seem happy dont say anything but if they already look sad...it wouldnt hurt to say sorry or give them a hug..it would be good to send flowersl
Reply:The worst thing to do is ignore your friend's loss. People will often avoid the person who has lost a loved one because they don't know what to say, or they feel uncomfortable with that person's pain. What your friend needs most right now is a support system, friends who will just be there. Even if you feel that you can't think of the right things to say, your presence is what matters most.
Reply:you tell them that you are so sorry for there lose and that in time they will heal but it will take time and to give themselves the proper time to greive and that if they ever need anything that all they have to do is call any time of day or night and you will be there for them and that they can count on you for moral, emotional, and physical support.....
that you love them and know that it is hard but they are tuff and they will move on when the time is right and you have faith in there recovery from the lose....
Reply:offer them support don't fawn all over them if tell them if they need someone to talk to that you are there......let them know that you care but don't pressure them to talking about it.....tell them you have a shoulder for them to cry on when they need it.
Reply:I'm sorry about your loved one but it will be OK
Reply:It's always difficult trying to figure out what to say.
When my grandfather died, my friends offered their condolences but never brought it up again unless I wanted to talk about it. Even then, they said that he was in a better place and the suffering was over, and he'd want me to be happy. they didn't buy me gifts but they took me out to the movies, dinner, parties, and did other things to get my mind off it. You should let them know you're there, they'll return the favor because it's a new bond that's been made. You might want to accompany them to the funeral or viewing to show support, many people break down and need a shoulder to lean on. Be that shoulder, as corny as it sounds, but I cried on many that summer.
Reply:Tell them your there if they want to talk
Reply:If its a really good friend you should go to the funeral or atleast the viewing. Alot of people don't like people saying I'm sorry to them it just depends on the person. You'll do what you think is best.
Reply:tell them it will be okay and that it is nature
Reply:well tell them you are so sorry for their lost and everything will be ok do what you just ask all those things are ok but do not avod it because you are not a good friend you are not feeling what they are going throught.
Reply:All those things. A true friend is just "there." Let them do the talking, listen to what they have to say. Let them know that you are a friend because you are there for them.
Reply:Offer to go the funeral/wake with them. Even if you didnt know the person, your friend may need your support. Theres really nothing you can say, try to avoid cliches like "he/she is in a better place now" etc. Just tell your friend that youre sorry and be there for him/her as much as possible.
Reply:just be there for your friend. that would be better then flowers, listen to your friend when she needs to talk, you can tell your friend you are sorry and if your friend needs anything, let you know. thats what i did when i went through it, with my best freind, and i think that help her out alot till i lost her in a motorcycle a few years later.
Reply:Let them know you are there to support them. Go to the funeral if you are a close friend or family member. Think about what you would want if you lost someone you loved, would you want friends supporting you or would you want to be ignored?
Reply:I don't think they expect you to say anything. Just be there for them. Tell them that you are there for emotional support and if they want to talk. I'd go to the viewing and/or funeral if they wanted me there. I'd send flowers.
Reply:just be there. sit next to them. say nothing. they know. and when they feel like saying something, you'll be right there.
Reply:You go to everything you can, and just be there for them. Sometimes just being there, offering a hug, and listening is all that is necessary.
Reply:tell he/she that sometimes other people will make mistakes/// and that u could find some one else in the futur that is goni to be the one that u dreamed of(lol) hope u have luck finding the one
Reply:i lost my best friend in march. i lost my uncle (who helped raise me) in january. so i can definitely relate to this question. after my best friend died people kept coming up and telling me how sorry they were. sometimes people don't like that, but i did. it helps to know that people recognize how close i was to her. ya know? so that's my opinion. :)
Reply:it may seem lame but you say im sorry you have to feel so bad and ask if their is anything you can do to help
Reply:Try to stay postive and motivated
Reply:just b there as much as u can and try to understand all of his or her problems and show them that your always there when they need someone to talk to no matter what the situation may be.
Start java
What do you say to a friend when they lose a loved one?
I lost my dad in 2004, and I am still not over it. There is not much you can say. You can let your love one know that you are their for them, and that if they want to talk your phone line is always open. There is something nice that someone did for me tho, they had an brass dove ornament engraved with my dad's name on it with date of birth and when he passed. I love that ornament because I can put it on my christmas tree, and just remember a few good memories, and it is like having a peice of him with me. Another thing is to pray for them that they are comforted in a way that is best for them. God bless :)
Reply:tell ur friend that he/she will get the best for next round. trust me!
Reply:offer lots of body language and few words.Actions speaks louder than words.Be a shoulder to cry on. Your presence at the funeral will be more support than you can imagine. Try distracting your friend from the grieving situation;possibly by taking them somewhere that doesn't spells death. to many words can cause added grief on this occasion.
Reply:i say if iyou need me for anything please call then after a week chex to see if they r doing ok yes if ur a close friend go to the viewing
Reply:Just let them know you feel for them, and you are there for them. If they request you come, or if you feel you knew their relative well enough, go. If not, you aren't obligated. A card would definetely be good, but flowers are not necessary. When a life long friend of mine lost his grandfather, whom I had been around for my friends life, I went and was there for him.
Reply:sometimes its best to not say anything at all. that happened to me and it made it worse sometimes when people said somethin about it. when they seem happy dont say anything but if they already look sad...it wouldnt hurt to say sorry or give them a hug..it would be good to send flowersl
Reply:The worst thing to do is ignore your friend's loss. People will often avoid the person who has lost a loved one because they don't know what to say, or they feel uncomfortable with that person's pain. What your friend needs most right now is a support system, friends who will just be there. Even if you feel that you can't think of the right things to say, your presence is what matters most.
Reply:you tell them that you are so sorry for there lose and that in time they will heal but it will take time and to give themselves the proper time to greive and that if they ever need anything that all they have to do is call any time of day or night and you will be there for them and that they can count on you for moral, emotional, and physical support.....
that you love them and know that it is hard but they are tuff and they will move on when the time is right and you have faith in there recovery from the lose....
Reply:offer them support don't fawn all over them if tell them if they need someone to talk to that you are there......let them know that you care but don't pressure them to talking about it.....tell them you have a shoulder for them to cry on when they need it.
Reply:I'm sorry about your loved one but it will be OK
Reply:It's always difficult trying to figure out what to say.
When my grandfather died, my friends offered their condolences but never brought it up again unless I wanted to talk about it. Even then, they said that he was in a better place and the suffering was over, and he'd want me to be happy. they didn't buy me gifts but they took me out to the movies, dinner, parties, and did other things to get my mind off it. You should let them know you're there, they'll return the favor because it's a new bond that's been made. You might want to accompany them to the funeral or viewing to show support, many people break down and need a shoulder to lean on. Be that shoulder, as corny as it sounds, but I cried on many that summer.
Reply:Tell them your there if they want to talk
Reply:If its a really good friend you should go to the funeral or atleast the viewing. Alot of people don't like people saying I'm sorry to them it just depends on the person. You'll do what you think is best.
Reply:tell them it will be okay and that it is nature
Reply:well tell them you are so sorry for their lost and everything will be ok do what you just ask all those things are ok but do not avod it because you are not a good friend you are not feeling what they are going throught.
Reply:All those things. A true friend is just "there." Let them do the talking, listen to what they have to say. Let them know that you are a friend because you are there for them.
Reply:Offer to go the funeral/wake with them. Even if you didnt know the person, your friend may need your support. Theres really nothing you can say, try to avoid cliches like "he/she is in a better place now" etc. Just tell your friend that youre sorry and be there for him/her as much as possible.
Reply:just be there for your friend. that would be better then flowers, listen to your friend when she needs to talk, you can tell your friend you are sorry and if your friend needs anything, let you know. thats what i did when i went through it, with my best freind, and i think that help her out alot till i lost her in a motorcycle a few years later.
Reply:Let them know you are there to support them. Go to the funeral if you are a close friend or family member. Think about what you would want if you lost someone you loved, would you want friends supporting you or would you want to be ignored?
Reply:I don't think they expect you to say anything. Just be there for them. Tell them that you are there for emotional support and if they want to talk. I'd go to the viewing and/or funeral if they wanted me there. I'd send flowers.
Reply:just be there. sit next to them. say nothing. they know. and when they feel like saying something, you'll be right there.
Reply:You go to everything you can, and just be there for them. Sometimes just being there, offering a hug, and listening is all that is necessary.
Reply:tell he/she that sometimes other people will make mistakes/// and that u could find some one else in the futur that is goni to be the one that u dreamed of(lol) hope u have luck finding the one
Reply:i lost my best friend in march. i lost my uncle (who helped raise me) in january. so i can definitely relate to this question. after my best friend died people kept coming up and telling me how sorry they were. sometimes people don't like that, but i did. it helps to know that people recognize how close i was to her. ya know? so that's my opinion. :)
Reply:it may seem lame but you say im sorry you have to feel so bad and ask if their is anything you can do to help
Reply:Try to stay postive and motivated
Reply:just b there as much as u can and try to understand all of his or her problems and show them that your always there when they need someone to talk to no matter what the situation may be.
Start java
Will a cemetary 'cart' be a lucrative business venture?
I've been to plenty of funerals lately and I've come up with an idea...I'd like to purchase a cart (much like a hot dog cart) and offer items such as flowers, potted plants, american flags, sympathy cards, water and other funeral related items to mourners to purchase as they grieve. They can then take these items and leave them at the final resting places! Because it will be a cart, I could wheel it all around the cemetary to the different funerals. I believe there is a HUGE market demographic with this venture...
Will a cemetary 'cart' be a lucrative business venture?
I hate to rain on your parade but I don't think that there is any market for your services. Furthermore, most cemeteries are private property and you'd have a rough time getting permission to operate such a cart. Think of it this way: If such a market existed wouldn't the private cemetery ALREADY have a little kiosk selling these items on the way in? Finally, there is the crassness factor. How are you going to do this? Drive your little cart up to the just stopped parade of funeral cars with bells dinging and a Requiem Mass blaring over the loud speaker?
Most people going to funerals wish they were somewhere else and stopping to buy a trinket for the recently departed will not add to their pleasure.
Your idea is creative but at the same time it will be a loser.
Will a cemetary 'cart' be a lucrative business venture?
I hate to rain on your parade but I don't think that there is any market for your services. Furthermore, most cemeteries are private property and you'd have a rough time getting permission to operate such a cart. Think of it this way: If such a market existed wouldn't the private cemetery ALREADY have a little kiosk selling these items on the way in? Finally, there is the crassness factor. How are you going to do this? Drive your little cart up to the just stopped parade of funeral cars with bells dinging and a Requiem Mass blaring over the loud speaker?
Most people going to funerals wish they were somewhere else and stopping to buy a trinket for the recently departed will not add to their pleasure.
Your idea is creative but at the same time it will be a loser.
Friday, February 3, 2012
When are the funerals for the 5 people killed in Chatham last week?
The victims names are Lakeisha Boss, Whitney Flowers, Donovan Richardson, Reginald Walker and Anthony Scales
When are the funerals for the 5 people killed in Chatham last week?
try this site it's help you a lot of information
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24314457/
Reply:Chatham? What state? What country for that matter?
acne scars
When are the funerals for the 5 people killed in Chatham last week?
try this site it's help you a lot of information
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24314457/
Reply:Chatham? What state? What country for that matter?
Flower arrangement?
I am trying to sort some flowers for my grandads funeral we really want bicycle shaped flowers as he loved his bike so much ive searched the net and just cant find any can anyone help?
Flower arrangement?
You would have to get a silk florist to create this. I am sure it would take time %26amp; be very costly.
Reply:try ebay
Reply:What about having columbines. They look like wheels. You could also have a florist take a green oasis funeral block and make a bike out of different flowers. It would hang on a stand. It would be very cool. I did one that was a square and the flowers were shaped like the country Italy.
Reply:Call your local florist and ask them, It is not likely that you will find something like that ready made. I have seen flower arrangements in many diffrent forms/shapes/objects.
Give them a call and they should be able to arrange that for you.
Flower arrangement?
You would have to get a silk florist to create this. I am sure it would take time %26amp; be very costly.
Reply:try ebay
Reply:What about having columbines. They look like wheels. You could also have a florist take a green oasis funeral block and make a bike out of different flowers. It would hang on a stand. It would be very cool. I did one that was a square and the flowers were shaped like the country Italy.
Reply:Call your local florist and ask them, It is not likely that you will find something like that ready made. I have seen flower arrangements in many diffrent forms/shapes/objects.
Give them a call and they should be able to arrange that for you.
Proper ettiquette for thanking pallbearers?
I'm working on thank you notes to people who sent flowers to my mother's funeral and was wondering what I should do for the pallbearers. This is my first time doing this, so I'm completely confused. I don't know the pallbearers very well because they were cousins of my mother and I have only met them a couple times. Do I send a card? A gift? What do I say in the note? I would have my dad do it, but he's a wreck and unable to do much of anything right now.
Proper ettiquette for thanking pallbearers?
I think a simple thank you note would be appropriate. I am very sorry for your loss.
Reply:A simple thank you note is fine.
Reply:A thoughtful thank you card with some personal notes for them. That is sufficient. I am sure they understand that you appreciated their help during a hardtime. I'll keep you in my prayers.
Reply:I'm really sorry to hear about your mom passing away.
My personal opinion is that a note of sincere thanks is all that is needed. I found this site with some suggestions. Here is a little of whats on the site:
"No longer are personal letters expected by relatives, friends and acquaintances in return for expressions of sympathy. In most cases a signed acknowledgment or thank you card is sufficient to say "thanks" for flowers, mass cards, charitable donations and personal services."
"Acknowledgments should be sent within two weeks following the funeral or memorial service. If a more personal touch is desired, then a few words can be written on the card with reference to the flowers sent, donation made or services rendered. These words can often make the recipient feel that your thanks are as personal as if they were expressed verbally."
They give an example of what to write in a card to a pallbearer too:
"PALLBEARERS: Include a message of thanks for their time and service rendered.
Dear Steve,
Thank you for your kindness in acting as a pallbearer for our father. We asked you because you were one of his closest friends."
Hope this helps.
Reply:Just a thank you note is appropriate. Write something like: "Thank you so very much for the care and concern you have shown through our loss. Your assistance during this troubled time was most appreciated."
My condolences on your loss.
Reply:a simple THANK YOU card is more then most people do---so sorry about your mother....
shoes stock
Proper ettiquette for thanking pallbearers?
I think a simple thank you note would be appropriate. I am very sorry for your loss.
Reply:A simple thank you note is fine.
Reply:A thoughtful thank you card with some personal notes for them. That is sufficient. I am sure they understand that you appreciated their help during a hardtime. I'll keep you in my prayers.
Reply:I'm really sorry to hear about your mom passing away.
My personal opinion is that a note of sincere thanks is all that is needed. I found this site with some suggestions. Here is a little of whats on the site:
"No longer are personal letters expected by relatives, friends and acquaintances in return for expressions of sympathy. In most cases a signed acknowledgment or thank you card is sufficient to say "thanks" for flowers, mass cards, charitable donations and personal services."
"Acknowledgments should be sent within two weeks following the funeral or memorial service. If a more personal touch is desired, then a few words can be written on the card with reference to the flowers sent, donation made or services rendered. These words can often make the recipient feel that your thanks are as personal as if they were expressed verbally."
They give an example of what to write in a card to a pallbearer too:
"PALLBEARERS: Include a message of thanks for their time and service rendered.
Dear Steve,
Thank you for your kindness in acting as a pallbearer for our father. We asked you because you were one of his closest friends."
Hope this helps.
Reply:Just a thank you note is appropriate. Write something like: "Thank you so very much for the care and concern you have shown through our loss. Your assistance during this troubled time was most appreciated."
My condolences on your loss.
Reply:a simple THANK YOU card is more then most people do---so sorry about your mother....
shoes stock
Sending something because of a death, can anyone help me please?
My husbands father just passed away, his wife is a very nice lady who will be bombarded with flowers, I was wondering would it be innapropriate to send a gift/food basket instead of flowers, that was filled with morning breakfast/coffee items, instead of traditional fruit....I'm thinking, she doesn't need more flowers that are going to have to be thrown away in a while, it is winter where she is so a plant isn't practical, and traditional funeral type plants/flowers she will get so many, what does anyone think on this, greatly appreciated.....
Sending something because of a death, can anyone help me please?
That sounds like a thoughtful alternative.
When my dad died, we received so many flowers, cards, and fruit baskets (oh my, the fruit flies were horrible!).
My mom was a widow with three minor kids, and she appreciated the people that volunteered to watch us while she made arrangements, or the meals that were prepared so she didn't have to worry about it, and the ladies from church who came over and cleaned our house up a bit. If geographical restrictions aren't an issue and she is your mother-in-law, maybe you could send a fruit basket or gift basket, but also volunteer your time or talents. Just a thought...
Reply:You're welcome!
Whatever you decide to give, I'm sure the thought itself will be appreciated. I hope you had a Happy Thanksgiving, and my condolences on the loss your family suffers. Report It
Reply:My mother who just lost her husband wants to send alot of people something like a gift because of his death. This is very unusual I think because I told her that generally people give presents to the family or loved one of the deceased and not the other way around but she told me "Shows you how much you know!"
Reply:A thoughtful gift is always appreciated, and I think that your idea is a great one. Maybe try to include one of her favorites if you know her well enough.
If you're going to do this online, I've had great luck with delightfuldeliveries.com. I don't work for them, just.. they've always sent things in a timely fashion.
Good luck, and I'm sorry for your loss. Hope this helps.
Reply:I think that it's always the thought that counts. I think it's very sweet of you to be thinking of your mother in law that way. Just a thought, I'd make sure that the basket doesn't contain perishables, because when my father in law passed, my mother in law got TONS of food brought in by the church ladies. My hubby and his siblings even joked that it seemed like these ladies just sit around, waiting for people to die (or go to hospital) so that they can bring in casseroles, coffee cakes, jello salads, etc. :-) They wound up donating all the flowers to a nursing home in the area after the funeral, which is something you might want to suggest to your mother in law. Also, many families will also request that donations be made in memory of the deceased to a charity. My deepest sympathy is with your family at this time. God bless!
Reply:It depends on religions and upbrining. It sounds very nice to do. A fruit basket also is acceptable.
Reply:this might help
How to Create a Gift Basket for Someone Who Is Mourning
http://www.ehow.com/how_6797_create-gift...
and Sympathy Gift Baskets
http://www.gourmetgiftbaskets.com/Sympat...
Reply:The basket sounds like a nice idea. Flowers are nice but they will only last a few days.
Im sure she'll appreciate whatever you decide to send her, just knowing that you are thinking of her at this time.
Reply:Yes, send the gift/food basket. You're right, the flowers will be thrown out. At least this way, when she doesn't want to cook, she will have some easy treats and coffee. I think she has a very nice daughter-in-law to send such a thoughtful gift. I am so sorry for your family's loss.
Reply:I think that would be very thoughtful of you.I would definitely give her the coffee basket that's a great idea .
Reply:i would suggest a nice bottle of wine/champange. When my grandmother passed away we recieved a few gift baskets, it didnt offend us in anyway so i believe it is an appropritae gift
Reply:For me, it is inappropriate too to give flowers to show our respect or what so ever...why not give a card with beautiful words that can help the family to overcome the grief. Or perhaps prayer to God are much better than rotten flowers.
Reply:Yes, as long as she likes coffee, send it. Kudos to you.
Reply:Whatever you send will be appropriate. I was in the same situation a while back, and even though I shared in the purchase of a family flower basket, I wanted to give something that would last longer and be from just me. I had a terrarium of small house plants arranged which didn't require much care. A fruit basket is nice and the basket could be used for other things.
Reply:Yes, anything that is not a "present" type gift.
Reply:I think it is a very thoughtful gift idea, if she drinks coffee and tea and enjoys fruit. This will probably be comforting to her on those sleepless evening when she is unable to rest thinking about him and missing him. She can have some herbal tea to relax. God bless****
Reply:If she likes coffee it might very well be appropriate. Be careful not to make it appear too festive, given the occasion.
You might also throw in some oranges and other appropriate fruits just for balance and be sure to enclose a nice card.
Definitely ask your husband what he thinks before you decide. Appropriateness, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.
You have several beholders who could be happy or upset depending on how they see things.
Sending something because of a death, can anyone help me please?
That sounds like a thoughtful alternative.
When my dad died, we received so many flowers, cards, and fruit baskets (oh my, the fruit flies were horrible!).
My mom was a widow with three minor kids, and she appreciated the people that volunteered to watch us while she made arrangements, or the meals that were prepared so she didn't have to worry about it, and the ladies from church who came over and cleaned our house up a bit. If geographical restrictions aren't an issue and she is your mother-in-law, maybe you could send a fruit basket or gift basket, but also volunteer your time or talents. Just a thought...
Reply:You're welcome!
Whatever you decide to give, I'm sure the thought itself will be appreciated. I hope you had a Happy Thanksgiving, and my condolences on the loss your family suffers. Report It
Reply:My mother who just lost her husband wants to send alot of people something like a gift because of his death. This is very unusual I think because I told her that generally people give presents to the family or loved one of the deceased and not the other way around but she told me "Shows you how much you know!"
Reply:A thoughtful gift is always appreciated, and I think that your idea is a great one. Maybe try to include one of her favorites if you know her well enough.
If you're going to do this online, I've had great luck with delightfuldeliveries.com. I don't work for them, just.. they've always sent things in a timely fashion.
Good luck, and I'm sorry for your loss. Hope this helps.
Reply:I think that it's always the thought that counts. I think it's very sweet of you to be thinking of your mother in law that way. Just a thought, I'd make sure that the basket doesn't contain perishables, because when my father in law passed, my mother in law got TONS of food brought in by the church ladies. My hubby and his siblings even joked that it seemed like these ladies just sit around, waiting for people to die (or go to hospital) so that they can bring in casseroles, coffee cakes, jello salads, etc. :-) They wound up donating all the flowers to a nursing home in the area after the funeral, which is something you might want to suggest to your mother in law. Also, many families will also request that donations be made in memory of the deceased to a charity. My deepest sympathy is with your family at this time. God bless!
Reply:It depends on religions and upbrining. It sounds very nice to do. A fruit basket also is acceptable.
Reply:this might help
How to Create a Gift Basket for Someone Who Is Mourning
http://www.ehow.com/how_6797_create-gift...
and Sympathy Gift Baskets
http://www.gourmetgiftbaskets.com/Sympat...
Reply:The basket sounds like a nice idea. Flowers are nice but they will only last a few days.
Im sure she'll appreciate whatever you decide to send her, just knowing that you are thinking of her at this time.
Reply:Yes, send the gift/food basket. You're right, the flowers will be thrown out. At least this way, when she doesn't want to cook, she will have some easy treats and coffee. I think she has a very nice daughter-in-law to send such a thoughtful gift. I am so sorry for your family's loss.
Reply:I think that would be very thoughtful of you.I would definitely give her the coffee basket that's a great idea .
Reply:i would suggest a nice bottle of wine/champange. When my grandmother passed away we recieved a few gift baskets, it didnt offend us in anyway so i believe it is an appropritae gift
Reply:For me, it is inappropriate too to give flowers to show our respect or what so ever...why not give a card with beautiful words that can help the family to overcome the grief. Or perhaps prayer to God are much better than rotten flowers.
Reply:Yes, as long as she likes coffee, send it. Kudos to you.
Reply:Whatever you send will be appropriate. I was in the same situation a while back, and even though I shared in the purchase of a family flower basket, I wanted to give something that would last longer and be from just me. I had a terrarium of small house plants arranged which didn't require much care. A fruit basket is nice and the basket could be used for other things.
Reply:Yes, anything that is not a "present" type gift.
Reply:I think it is a very thoughtful gift idea, if she drinks coffee and tea and enjoys fruit. This will probably be comforting to her on those sleepless evening when she is unable to rest thinking about him and missing him. She can have some herbal tea to relax. God bless****
Reply:If she likes coffee it might very well be appropriate. Be careful not to make it appear too festive, given the occasion.
You might also throw in some oranges and other appropriate fruits just for balance and be sure to enclose a nice card.
Definitely ask your husband what he thinks before you decide. Appropriateness, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.
You have several beholders who could be happy or upset depending on how they see things.
Pre-Planning a Funeral?
A friend was telling me about a casual "form" she once had where you can fill out specific requests in the event of your death, and your family will have your wishes on particular things. It was things like favorite color, favorite flower, particular songs, buried with or without jewelry, etc...has anyone heard of this, and if so, can you give me the website or link?
Pre-Planning a Funeral?
All funeral homes give out those workbooks for free. It's called an advanced planning guidebook.
If you choose to buy an insurance policy in the amount of what you are planning, it will lock-in all your costs forever and give you additional discounts.
It's the best thing to do for your family.
Reply:http://www.ehow.com/how_2032487_plan-you...
Pre-Planning a Funeral?
All funeral homes give out those workbooks for free. It's called an advanced planning guidebook.
If you choose to buy an insurance policy in the amount of what you are planning, it will lock-in all your costs forever and give you additional discounts.
It's the best thing to do for your family.
Reply:http://www.ehow.com/how_2032487_plan-you...
Is it okay to wear black to a wedding? or white shoes after Labor Day?
I know black is "for" funerals... and I bought this super cute Springy white halter dress with pink and green flowers, but I cannot find the right shade of pink or green shoes to match and that stresses me out! I know I'm not supposed to wear white shoes after Labor Day, true or just a myth? so then I fell back on this adorable short strapless black dress I have to accessorize with red shoes, red bracelets, etc... is that off limits as well?! Thanks
Is it okay to wear black to a wedding? or white shoes after Labor Day?
Hello Green Eyes.
Nothing wrong wearing black at a wedding. I think you'll look fabulous. :)
Reply:Some people are superstitious about anyone wearing black to a wedding....Like you wouldn't wear white and outshine the bride. It is her day. . The first outfit you picked sounds perfect. Wear whatever shoes you want to.
Reply:that "after labor day" stuff is stupid as hell.
who cares what time of the year it is?
wear what looks good.
Reply:Yeah, you can wear black to a wedding in the fall/winter. That's fine... I wouldn't go with the white shoes after labor day if you live in a northern state though. If you're in Florida, yeah go for it! Michigan? Definitely not!
I'm not sure if I would go with red accessories though. Red %26amp;
If you have a DSW in your area, go there and look for shoes! They've got a great selection and every color imaginable! Plus the prices aren't bad either!
Reply:Forget those stupid fashion rules, were what u wanna wear. Be U.
Reply:What not to wear says it best
wearing white shoes after labor day:
http://tlc.discovery.com/fansites/whatno...
And for the black. I think that so long as it is not all black it is fine. And at least you are not wearing all white because that is bad....
Reply:NEVER wear black to a wedding!!!!! To me that is just disrespectful. White shoes after labor day I dont see any harm in so go for that if you would like, I dont see what the big deal that people make of that anyways.
Reply:I guess it's fine. . . . .until you meet Kathleen Turner around the corner. Yikes.
Reply:Black is perfectly acceptable at weddings now (especially evening weddings). White is the only color you should avoid. And I'm pretty sure that all the fashion mags say that white after Labor Day is okay now. At least last time I checked.
Reply:I dont like to see strapless dresses in church. How about adding a cute jacket or an elegant wrap? If money is an issue, go to the fabric store and by a yard of lace. Color of your choice.
Reply:meh just a myth whats gunna happen i suppose if u believe in bad luck and crap like that. Yes u can wear black to a wedding as long as ur not compleatly dressed in black....
Reply:it's just fine, if you like it. nobody will say anything against your taste in fashion, believe me.
Reply:Depends on the wedding...if it's an evening wedding in the fall or winter, black is appropriate. If it's happening outside or in the spring or summer, black may be uncomfortable, but not necessarily off limits. And don't worry about the white shoes after labor day...that's just lame and if you feel good wearing it then do so! Have fun!
Reply:Trust me .. you can wear anything you want, guys will never notice if you look cute in it, and if the girls are telling you something, it because of jelousy!
Reply:black for a wedding is the new thing, but white shoes after labor day i would not do it.
Reply:That was just a myth from years ago....Many people now days Go more casual. and alot are adding black to weddings... And it is perfectly safe and logic to wear white after labor day :)
So stop stressing :) and go get the outfit you wanted!!!! :)
Reply:The white after labor day is not a myth it was a style of the past and very rarely is adhered to today. and white shoes should be okay.
I say wear what you FEEL good in so you shine!
The black dress sound great and I would wear that if you feel that your going to look great- I would say since it's fall Black will be fine.
Be yourself
Reply:yes it is i mean its just a color right and if it looks good than why not also u see top models wearing white after labor day so why cant you black at a wedding hell yea the only person that is wearing white is the bride and the groom and the groomsman wears black
Reply:I think that rule is for little old church ladies only. lol! I mean look at all the incrediablly cute white boots and white ski clothes. Wear the white shoes...if you do buy pink of green shoes you will probually only wear them one time. You will get more use out of the white ones!
The last few night weddings I have went to allot of people were wearing black. YOung and old alike. I am in the wedding industry and having the bridesmaids in black is also increasingly popular!
Reply:bayeebee..don't b supersticious.u can even wear a torn dress on a wedding day.it doesn't matter.just wear white if u want to.nd u will**** urself if u r afraid to wear white shoes after a labor day.nd just try to match withthe accesories u have
homemade blackheads
Is it okay to wear black to a wedding? or white shoes after Labor Day?
Hello Green Eyes.
Nothing wrong wearing black at a wedding. I think you'll look fabulous. :)
Reply:Some people are superstitious about anyone wearing black to a wedding....Like you wouldn't wear white and outshine the bride. It is her day. . The first outfit you picked sounds perfect. Wear whatever shoes you want to.
Reply:that "after labor day" stuff is stupid as hell.
who cares what time of the year it is?
wear what looks good.
Reply:Yeah, you can wear black to a wedding in the fall/winter. That's fine... I wouldn't go with the white shoes after labor day if you live in a northern state though. If you're in Florida, yeah go for it! Michigan? Definitely not!
I'm not sure if I would go with red accessories though. Red %26amp;
If you have a DSW in your area, go there and look for shoes! They've got a great selection and every color imaginable! Plus the prices aren't bad either!
Reply:Forget those stupid fashion rules, were what u wanna wear. Be U.
Reply:What not to wear says it best
wearing white shoes after labor day:
http://tlc.discovery.com/fansites/whatno...
And for the black. I think that so long as it is not all black it is fine. And at least you are not wearing all white because that is bad....
Reply:NEVER wear black to a wedding!!!!! To me that is just disrespectful. White shoes after labor day I dont see any harm in so go for that if you would like, I dont see what the big deal that people make of that anyways.
Reply:I guess it's fine. . . . .until you meet Kathleen Turner around the corner. Yikes.
Reply:Black is perfectly acceptable at weddings now (especially evening weddings). White is the only color you should avoid. And I'm pretty sure that all the fashion mags say that white after Labor Day is okay now. At least last time I checked.
Reply:I dont like to see strapless dresses in church. How about adding a cute jacket or an elegant wrap? If money is an issue, go to the fabric store and by a yard of lace. Color of your choice.
Reply:meh just a myth whats gunna happen i suppose if u believe in bad luck and crap like that. Yes u can wear black to a wedding as long as ur not compleatly dressed in black....
Reply:it's just fine, if you like it. nobody will say anything against your taste in fashion, believe me.
Reply:Depends on the wedding...if it's an evening wedding in the fall or winter, black is appropriate. If it's happening outside or in the spring or summer, black may be uncomfortable, but not necessarily off limits. And don't worry about the white shoes after labor day...that's just lame and if you feel good wearing it then do so! Have fun!
Reply:Trust me .. you can wear anything you want, guys will never notice if you look cute in it, and if the girls are telling you something, it because of jelousy!
Reply:black for a wedding is the new thing, but white shoes after labor day i would not do it.
Reply:That was just a myth from years ago....Many people now days Go more casual. and alot are adding black to weddings... And it is perfectly safe and logic to wear white after labor day :)
So stop stressing :) and go get the outfit you wanted!!!! :)
Reply:The white after labor day is not a myth it was a style of the past and very rarely is adhered to today. and white shoes should be okay.
I say wear what you FEEL good in so you shine!
The black dress sound great and I would wear that if you feel that your going to look great- I would say since it's fall Black will be fine.
Be yourself
Reply:yes it is i mean its just a color right and if it looks good than why not also u see top models wearing white after labor day so why cant you black at a wedding hell yea the only person that is wearing white is the bride and the groom and the groomsman wears black
Reply:I think that rule is for little old church ladies only. lol! I mean look at all the incrediablly cute white boots and white ski clothes. Wear the white shoes...if you do buy pink of green shoes you will probually only wear them one time. You will get more use out of the white ones!
The last few night weddings I have went to allot of people were wearing black. YOung and old alike. I am in the wedding industry and having the bridesmaids in black is also increasingly popular!
Reply:bayeebee..don't b supersticious.u can even wear a torn dress on a wedding day.it doesn't matter.just wear white if u want to.nd u will**** urself if u r afraid to wear white shoes after a labor day.nd just try to match withthe accesories u have
Why do we bother with funerals?
I love flowers, can't smell them or arrange them when I'm dead. Neighbours had a drop in day, some brought drink or food, everyone could say their condonlances, and the deceased's remains were privatly scattered, much cheaper than a funeral. Anyone can lead prayers, you don't need to pay a minister. People who pre pay for funerals, could've spent the money on a decent holiday and probably lived longer. Spend money and love on people when they are alive, don't wait until they are dead!
Why do we bother with funerals?
Some view funerals as a way to celebrate the life of that person or to pay what they feel are 'last respects'.
It is very expensive, you are right. When my dad died when I was 16 we could barely afford ANYTHING. My uncle promised to pay, but then fell of the face of the earth leaving my mom and I with a enormous bill for basically nothing.
Reply:Funerals, in a way, are more to comfort the people who are living and attending the funeral. It provides a sense of closure and helps them move on. What your neighbors did can be considered a funeral too, just without some of the things that other funerals have, and that is perfectly fine. Some people want to spend a lot on a funeral because they just want to honor the deceased a certain way.
Reply:true but dead people need a send off and a way for the others to say goodbye............
Reply:I think funerals give people a chance to pay respect to their loved ones.
Fillings
Why do we bother with funerals?
Some view funerals as a way to celebrate the life of that person or to pay what they feel are 'last respects'.
It is very expensive, you are right. When my dad died when I was 16 we could barely afford ANYTHING. My uncle promised to pay, but then fell of the face of the earth leaving my mom and I with a enormous bill for basically nothing.
Reply:Funerals, in a way, are more to comfort the people who are living and attending the funeral. It provides a sense of closure and helps them move on. What your neighbors did can be considered a funeral too, just without some of the things that other funerals have, and that is perfectly fine. Some people want to spend a lot on a funeral because they just want to honor the deceased a certain way.
Reply:true but dead people need a send off and a way for the others to say goodbye............
Reply:I think funerals give people a chance to pay respect to their loved ones.
Fillings
I need help from someone who knows anything about Buddhist tradition.?
I have a dylema. One of my co-workers her father past a way and we as a co-workers want to send flowers with our condolences. Should we sed flowers to the Tample or to her home or maybe that is inapropriate to send flowers.
Secound Question is should we go for the funeral too? ( meaning 2 of our managers). What is apropriate to do since she provide us an address to the Tample.
I need help from someone who knows anything about Buddhist tradition.?
If you send flowers to the temple, offer the flowers to the Buddha, and redirect the merit to your colleague's father.
If you send flowers to her home, you may do it as per local custom.
Yes, you should be welcomed to attend the funeral in the temple.
If your colleague practices the Mahayana Pure Land teachings, wishes such as "May your father rebirth in Amitabha's Pure Land" are most appreciated.
Reply:i live in thailand, and thailand is a 85% bhuddist country, so..
okay, i think you should send flowers to the temple. or you could send flowers to her home too. i think that would be appropriate. since she provided you an address to the temple, you could wear black OR white to go there. i think when she gave you the address she means that she wants you to go or she is inviting you to. to be sure, you should ask her, in case she gets offended or something.
Reply:Just Try Why not!
Reply:you should ask your co-worker as to what is the right way to express your condolences to be sure you are not offending them
Secound Question is should we go for the funeral too? ( meaning 2 of our managers). What is apropriate to do since she provide us an address to the Tample.
I need help from someone who knows anything about Buddhist tradition.?
If you send flowers to the temple, offer the flowers to the Buddha, and redirect the merit to your colleague's father.
If you send flowers to her home, you may do it as per local custom.
Yes, you should be welcomed to attend the funeral in the temple.
If your colleague practices the Mahayana Pure Land teachings, wishes such as "May your father rebirth in Amitabha's Pure Land" are most appreciated.
Reply:i live in thailand, and thailand is a 85% bhuddist country, so..
okay, i think you should send flowers to the temple. or you could send flowers to her home too. i think that would be appropriate. since she provided you an address to the temple, you could wear black OR white to go there. i think when she gave you the address she means that she wants you to go or she is inviting you to. to be sure, you should ask her, in case she gets offended or something.
Reply:Just Try Why not!
Reply:you should ask your co-worker as to what is the right way to express your condolences to be sure you are not offending them
I'm looking for a guardian angel pin (jewelry).?
To be specific, one of my relatives has a guardian angel pin that has embedded in it a flower from the funeral of a cherished relative. No one remembers where it came from. Can anyone help me find this?
I'm looking for a guardian angel pin (jewelry).?
I know some of them come from organizations that help poor children in 3rd world countries or Catholic churches or something.. and you usually get them in the mail. I don't know how you get signed up for it but one of my aunties used to get them.
..well i just googled "guardian angel pins" and this one site came up http://churchsupplier.com/shopsite_sc/st...
I'm looking for a guardian angel pin (jewelry).?
I know some of them come from organizations that help poor children in 3rd world countries or Catholic churches or something.. and you usually get them in the mail. I don't know how you get signed up for it but one of my aunties used to get them.
..well i just googled "guardian angel pins" and this one site came up http://churchsupplier.com/shopsite_sc/st...
One of my dearest friends sisters husband passed away this week?
and it was such a terrible blow to the family. He had a massive heart attack, totally unexpected and the wife and kids are totally destroyed. I attended the funeral, sent flowers, but feel the need to do more. They are such wonderful people. Any suggestions? I know they need down time to grieve without the interference of outsiders right now. But, down the road, what could I offer this family to help them adjust to their life without their husband/Dad?
One of my dearest friends sisters husband passed away this week?
My suggestion would be don't go away. People believe grieving people need to be left alone, and I think exactly the opposite. Be present. The children will need someone to play with, and take them places like the park to get out and stay focused on life outside the death of their father. The mother will grieve unimaginably, and having someone around to just take some pressure off will help her feel free to do that. You don't want them to grieve themselves into depression and other issues, so being present and keeping an eye out always helps. I'm sorry to hear of the loss, keep their chins up some.
Reply:first you doing all you can, an just being a friend is the best, i let them know i be their if the need me, ,an latter on tell them he not gone , he live with them in the heart,,an in her kids, to all way rember him, an that realy all you can dp
Reply:It is hard to loose someone you love so un expectiveily. just let her know that you are there for her when ever they need you. If you want maybe sometimes you can bring or cook for them . just to make sure they are eating right. my condolences to the family.
Reply:The first thing you can do is be therre for them. They need people to talk to. You may think they need alone time but that's not always true.
When my husband had a massive heart attack and died people where there for me right away. But after the funeral they seemed to drift way saying they didn't know what to say to me. But all I needed were my friends to talk to and get my feelings out. The worse thing was they told me they understood what I was going through. Believe me unless you lost your spouse you don't know what it is like. To this day some of my friends and in-laws hardly ever talk to me and it's going to be 5 years.
So be there for your friends sister in any way that she needs you because it is a very difficult time for all. Hopefully she won't lose the friends she had. That everyone is compasionate and understanding. I'm so sorry for her loss.
Reply:hats off to u!!!
try ur best to help them!!!
Reply:just be there for them and help out whenever possible.
Reply:Tell them that he is in a better place, watching over you with a smile on his face. He is now their guardian angel, making sure nothing bad will ever happen to them, and he is patiently waiting for all of them up in Heaven so they can be a family once more
Reply:I would try to get friends and family to visit them alot and spend as much time with them as possible they just lost the person that made them feel secure so they need to find that feeling of being secure and by being their and visiting them often will let them know people care and they have some one their for them! also dont show feelings of sadness around them cuz thatll just mak them feel worse try to keep a happy attitude around them
Reply:The best thing you could do now is NOT go over there. The family's still working though the changes this tragedy has brought onto them.
Just call and talk to your friend. Ask them if they need anything and you're there if they do. After about a week, call and ask to come over. Judging by what you said, I'm sure they'll be ready to see you.
I wish your friend luck through this time....at least she's lucky that you're her friend....;-)
One of my dearest friends sisters husband passed away this week?
My suggestion would be don't go away. People believe grieving people need to be left alone, and I think exactly the opposite. Be present. The children will need someone to play with, and take them places like the park to get out and stay focused on life outside the death of their father. The mother will grieve unimaginably, and having someone around to just take some pressure off will help her feel free to do that. You don't want them to grieve themselves into depression and other issues, so being present and keeping an eye out always helps. I'm sorry to hear of the loss, keep their chins up some.
Reply:first you doing all you can, an just being a friend is the best, i let them know i be their if the need me, ,an latter on tell them he not gone , he live with them in the heart,,an in her kids, to all way rember him, an that realy all you can dp
Reply:It is hard to loose someone you love so un expectiveily. just let her know that you are there for her when ever they need you. If you want maybe sometimes you can bring or cook for them . just to make sure they are eating right. my condolences to the family.
Reply:The first thing you can do is be therre for them. They need people to talk to. You may think they need alone time but that's not always true.
When my husband had a massive heart attack and died people where there for me right away. But after the funeral they seemed to drift way saying they didn't know what to say to me. But all I needed were my friends to talk to and get my feelings out. The worse thing was they told me they understood what I was going through. Believe me unless you lost your spouse you don't know what it is like. To this day some of my friends and in-laws hardly ever talk to me and it's going to be 5 years.
So be there for your friends sister in any way that she needs you because it is a very difficult time for all. Hopefully she won't lose the friends she had. That everyone is compasionate and understanding. I'm so sorry for her loss.
Reply:hats off to u!!!
try ur best to help them!!!
Reply:just be there for them and help out whenever possible.
Reply:Tell them that he is in a better place, watching over you with a smile on his face. He is now their guardian angel, making sure nothing bad will ever happen to them, and he is patiently waiting for all of them up in Heaven so they can be a family once more
Reply:I would try to get friends and family to visit them alot and spend as much time with them as possible they just lost the person that made them feel secure so they need to find that feeling of being secure and by being their and visiting them often will let them know people care and they have some one their for them! also dont show feelings of sadness around them cuz thatll just mak them feel worse try to keep a happy attitude around them
Reply:The best thing you could do now is NOT go over there. The family's still working though the changes this tragedy has brought onto them.
Just call and talk to your friend. Ask them if they need anything and you're there if they do. After about a week, call and ask to come over. Judging by what you said, I'm sure they'll be ready to see you.
I wish your friend luck through this time....at least she's lucky that you're her friend....;-)
Funeral donations?
My boss who I have worked for just passed away. Im not sure how much to donate to the charities that they have selected. And I would also like to send a flower arrangement. Is it not appropriate to send a flower arangement when they have charities listed in the obit. It is a boss but we are like family and he was the second generation of the founder and we will be continueing to work for the son who took over. They are the best bosses in the world and have done a lot for us, we are family. Any advice.
Funeral donations?
If you really want to do something, I would donate to the charities. Figure out how much you would spend on the flower arrangement and spend that amount on your donation.
I would also suggest getting a collection together for a company-wide donation for flowers so that everyone can feel involved. It sounds like the owners are very appreciated there.
Reply:Don't send flowers if it says "donations to XYZ charities in lieu of flowers". Find out how much a funeral wreath or other type of floral arrangement would cost and send that amount to the charity.
Reply:best bet would be a staff collection for the funeral arrangement which judging by what you said would be no problem along with IF the members of staff wished to also add a few dollars to one of the charities that they pick from the list as a separate donation.
Who ever does the collection tin, make sure that they account for everything, flowers, a card from all staff that donated to be sent to the family...............if anything left over ask if they could pick TWO out of the list for the remainder to be sent to.
regards
Reply:Do not sent flowers, send donation to their charity,If you want, you can buy a bouquet of flowers, and take them as an above and beyond gesture.
apply for a loanbloom-
Funeral donations?
If you really want to do something, I would donate to the charities. Figure out how much you would spend on the flower arrangement and spend that amount on your donation.
I would also suggest getting a collection together for a company-wide donation for flowers so that everyone can feel involved. It sounds like the owners are very appreciated there.
Reply:Don't send flowers if it says "donations to XYZ charities in lieu of flowers". Find out how much a funeral wreath or other type of floral arrangement would cost and send that amount to the charity.
Reply:best bet would be a staff collection for the funeral arrangement which judging by what you said would be no problem along with IF the members of staff wished to also add a few dollars to one of the charities that they pick from the list as a separate donation.
Who ever does the collection tin, make sure that they account for everything, flowers, a card from all staff that donated to be sent to the family...............if anything left over ask if they could pick TWO out of the list for the remainder to be sent to.
regards
Reply:Do not sent flowers, send donation to their charity,If you want, you can buy a bouquet of flowers, and take them as an above and beyond gesture.
apply for a loan
If you are in love with someone who dies and their partner knows you were in love with them what do you do?
If you were in love with someone else's partner and had had no sexual relationship with them and had cut off the friendship when the 'love' became too difficult (ie freindship wouldn't work so you go your separate ways)
The partner knows that you were in love (unrequited) with his deceased lover .... is it appropriate to go to the funeral and maybe throw flowers on the coffin or in the grave or is it inappropriate?
Let's say the deceased knew and the surviving lover knew that I was in love with them, although noting had happened?
If you are in love with someone who dies and their partner knows you were in love with them what do you do?
Since the surviving spouse/partner KNOWS that you were in love with the deceased, no you shouldn't go to the funeral because that would be very rude and "in your face" to the surviving spouse/partner and would only upset them at a time when that's the last thing they need.
At a time like this you MUST put consideration for the surviving spouse/partner ahead of your own wants.
Go to visit the grave later when the surviving partner isn't there, bring flowers or whatever, but don't put your name on them or they might get ripped up or thrown out by either the surviving partner or their friends.
Reply:Assuming that all the surviving partners who knew were not jealous, then YES, go say goodbye. The deceased's partner, if he has a heart and never saw you as a rival, will know your grief is real and true, just as his is, will understand your grief, will also know there is at least one other person there who feels just as he does, etc.
If the widower was jealous, then it'd be more prudent to not disrupt the funeral or bring any more negative feelings to the widower, just make a point of visiting the grave privately.
Reply:you sound like you feel very guilty, and you should be since it sounds like you almost let your feelings get out of hand when that person was living. See the problem is all within you. Not only is it all resolved now that the person is gone but the past is too, and the problem is still stuck within you alone.
The "family" only goes to the funeral and gravesite. You are neither so you should not go. No, definitely don't throw any flowers. Your plans and thoughts are inappropriate. Do not go to the cemetery ever. It's all in your mind. If your grief is overwhelming then quietly see a therapist to get over it.
Reply:If you go to the the actual funeral you might upset the spouse. I would go after the funeral and just visit alone and just take some flowers. On the day of the funeral, just say a little prayer, but go afterwards that way you don't cause additional grief. Remember, nobody has to see you mourn and it can be a more intimate thing for you. Good luck--
Reply:I feel for your situation. I was not in the position you are. My situation was I had sold up and moved to be with a partner who died two months later. He was still, technically, married. I decided to let his "widow" have her place but I did attend the funeral. He wanted me there.....but it was difficult. I wanted to do more than I could.
You have to do what feels right.
Reply:I would go to the service.. stay away from the crow.d. and go home directly after.. the service is public... Come back later out of respect for their partner and relatives and put some flowers down when nobody else is there...and remember. To remember someone one once loved one can do that anywhere.. I would only need to go once to say goodbye and keep the good memories but I would not want to shame the family and approach them.. I would attend the church service but sit way back from the rest and also not stay to offer condolences it would be a tough memory for them.. so I would spare them that.. just put flowers down when everyone else is gone.. a wreath or flowers with no message.. the person who passed on would know they are from me... that's all that matters ...xxxx
Reply:The love you speak of is universal, You loved them remember that is so very pure, nothing had to happen because all the good things were there! My question would be why leave out one another's life? I don't understand that at all. Support teach and correct one another. pass love on with examples this is what is so badly needed.
Now to answer your question - One should go to the Funeral pure and true to do what is natural to any human and animals whom has lost a dear friend and that my friend is "Mourn"!
Why not just love one another.
Reply:This is really difficult one, I wouldn't go to the funeral and I would let the partner grieve in peace, if you go you will only upset him more. I understand your feelings and I think you should go and place your flowers and say your goodbyes after everyone has left.
The partner knows that you were in love (unrequited) with his deceased lover .... is it appropriate to go to the funeral and maybe throw flowers on the coffin or in the grave or is it inappropriate?
Let's say the deceased knew and the surviving lover knew that I was in love with them, although noting had happened?
If you are in love with someone who dies and their partner knows you were in love with them what do you do?
Since the surviving spouse/partner KNOWS that you were in love with the deceased, no you shouldn't go to the funeral because that would be very rude and "in your face" to the surviving spouse/partner and would only upset them at a time when that's the last thing they need.
At a time like this you MUST put consideration for the surviving spouse/partner ahead of your own wants.
Go to visit the grave later when the surviving partner isn't there, bring flowers or whatever, but don't put your name on them or they might get ripped up or thrown out by either the surviving partner or their friends.
Reply:Assuming that all the surviving partners who knew were not jealous, then YES, go say goodbye. The deceased's partner, if he has a heart and never saw you as a rival, will know your grief is real and true, just as his is, will understand your grief, will also know there is at least one other person there who feels just as he does, etc.
If the widower was jealous, then it'd be more prudent to not disrupt the funeral or bring any more negative feelings to the widower, just make a point of visiting the grave privately.
Reply:you sound like you feel very guilty, and you should be since it sounds like you almost let your feelings get out of hand when that person was living. See the problem is all within you. Not only is it all resolved now that the person is gone but the past is too, and the problem is still stuck within you alone.
The "family" only goes to the funeral and gravesite. You are neither so you should not go. No, definitely don't throw any flowers. Your plans and thoughts are inappropriate. Do not go to the cemetery ever. It's all in your mind. If your grief is overwhelming then quietly see a therapist to get over it.
Reply:If you go to the the actual funeral you might upset the spouse. I would go after the funeral and just visit alone and just take some flowers. On the day of the funeral, just say a little prayer, but go afterwards that way you don't cause additional grief. Remember, nobody has to see you mourn and it can be a more intimate thing for you. Good luck--
Reply:I feel for your situation. I was not in the position you are. My situation was I had sold up and moved to be with a partner who died two months later. He was still, technically, married. I decided to let his "widow" have her place but I did attend the funeral. He wanted me there.....but it was difficult. I wanted to do more than I could.
You have to do what feels right.
Reply:I would go to the service.. stay away from the crow.d. and go home directly after.. the service is public... Come back later out of respect for their partner and relatives and put some flowers down when nobody else is there...and remember. To remember someone one once loved one can do that anywhere.. I would only need to go once to say goodbye and keep the good memories but I would not want to shame the family and approach them.. I would attend the church service but sit way back from the rest and also not stay to offer condolences it would be a tough memory for them.. so I would spare them that.. just put flowers down when everyone else is gone.. a wreath or flowers with no message.. the person who passed on would know they are from me... that's all that matters ...xxxx
Reply:The love you speak of is universal, You loved them remember that is so very pure, nothing had to happen because all the good things were there! My question would be why leave out one another's life? I don't understand that at all. Support teach and correct one another. pass love on with examples this is what is so badly needed.
Now to answer your question - One should go to the Funeral pure and true to do what is natural to any human and animals whom has lost a dear friend and that my friend is "Mourn"!
Why not just love one another.
Reply:This is really difficult one, I wouldn't go to the funeral and I would let the partner grieve in peace, if you go you will only upset him more. I understand your feelings and I think you should go and place your flowers and say your goodbyes after everyone has left.
Why doesn't my husbands family accept me?
My husband and me have been together for 10 years.I live 350 miles away from my parents and don't get to see them very often...i get very lonely because of this. My husband has two sisters and his parents but they don't accept me or my two children. I have tried several time to get close to them but they just treat me like the only reason they even speak to me is because i am married to their son. example: my grandmother died a year ago at the age of 103 she was like a mother to me. I didn't have a car at the time and NONE of them would help me get to the funeral. they didn't even say I'm sorry. BUT...when my sister-in-laws husband's dad died they were all up in it. Flowers,funeral arragements, everything. I don't understand. can someone help me to?
Why doesn't my husbands family accept me?
I feel your pain. Coz, I am in the same situation.
My family is also out of the country.
and mainly, my mother in law, even refuse to speak and to socialize (she told my wife that she does not respect an artist -which is kinda odd, cause she married one).
It hurts very bad, but the only thing we can do is do the best.
I am sorry if i start to sound religious but just follow the golden rule.
Do unto others what you want others do unto you.
Keep being nice to them (eventhough they are rude to you)
Keep trying to reach out (eventhough they don't want you to be around)
Keep respecting them (Eventhough they don't respect you)
Do it because you are a better person than them.
Do it out of respect for your husband.
Do it because you know that anger cannot be fought by anger.
Do it because you are a GOOD person.
Do it to prove them wrong about you.
Do it out of your kindness.
They can do whatever they want, but you will be strong and say, no matter what they do, they will only bring the BEST out of me.
Don't get into the hating game with them.. because everybody will lose in that game.
Be the bigger person!
My prayer with you..
Reply:they are freaks
Reply:I think its hard for parents to let there children go and accept that they are married and grown up. They often (from personal experience with inlaws) will not be accepting, and try and push you away. I feel is some sort of control issue, hanging on to there child type of thing. You can't make them like you but try not to feel bad. Its not your fault, I am sure you have done all you can do to be nice and polite to your in laws. As I said earlier I just thinks a matter of not wanting to accept that there son is a big boy now with a wife and kids, and if there mean to you, you just may go away, then they could take care of him again and he'd be there "little boy" again
Just my thoughts on the issue.
Why doesn't my husbands family accept me?
I feel your pain. Coz, I am in the same situation.
My family is also out of the country.
and mainly, my mother in law, even refuse to speak and to socialize (she told my wife that she does not respect an artist -which is kinda odd, cause she married one).
It hurts very bad, but the only thing we can do is do the best.
I am sorry if i start to sound religious but just follow the golden rule.
Do unto others what you want others do unto you.
Keep being nice to them (eventhough they are rude to you)
Keep trying to reach out (eventhough they don't want you to be around)
Keep respecting them (Eventhough they don't respect you)
Do it because you are a better person than them.
Do it out of respect for your husband.
Do it because you know that anger cannot be fought by anger.
Do it because you are a GOOD person.
Do it to prove them wrong about you.
Do it out of your kindness.
They can do whatever they want, but you will be strong and say, no matter what they do, they will only bring the BEST out of me.
Don't get into the hating game with them.. because everybody will lose in that game.
Be the bigger person!
My prayer with you..
Reply:they are freaks
Reply:I think its hard for parents to let there children go and accept that they are married and grown up. They often (from personal experience with inlaws) will not be accepting, and try and push you away. I feel is some sort of control issue, hanging on to there child type of thing. You can't make them like you but try not to feel bad. Its not your fault, I am sure you have done all you can do to be nice and polite to your in laws. As I said earlier I just thinks a matter of not wanting to accept that there son is a big boy now with a wife and kids, and if there mean to you, you just may go away, then they could take care of him again and he'd be there "little boy" again
Just my thoughts on the issue.
Pressing a gerber daisy?
will a yellow gerber daisy discolor if i try to press it and laminate it for a book mark i have done other flowers but nothing yellow so i am scared any help it is from a funeral so it is special.... thanks a mill.
Pressing a gerber daisy?
The problem you're going to have with the Gerbera daisy is that the petals easily separate from the center, which is quite dense. Yellow will get a bit of a golden brown tinge to it....You might want to consider purchasing a silica preserving agent and preserve it that way. You can usually get that at a craft store. Just follow the directions it is pretty easy.
Pressing a gerber daisy?
The problem you're going to have with the Gerbera daisy is that the petals easily separate from the center, which is quite dense. Yellow will get a bit of a golden brown tinge to it....You might want to consider purchasing a silica preserving agent and preserve it that way. You can usually get that at a craft store. Just follow the directions it is pretty easy.
Should she have been allowed to have an abortion or should she be a criminal?
My sister was five months pregnant when the doctors told her the placenta had torn and embryonic fluid was seeping out of the sack. The doctors told her the baby wouldn’t survive and recommended an abortion, but she refused give up on something she wanted so badly. She laid flat on her back for two months in hopes of saving her son. In the seventh month, the doctors told her the baby’s lungs hadn’t developed and there was no chance the baby would ever draw his first breath outside of the womb. The doctors induced labor to expel the fetus from the womb. Because he had no lungs, the baby never drew his first breath. We had a funeral and there’s a tiny tombstone in the family cemetery beside of my grandfather’s tombstone for Dustin. We still go there, put flowers on his grave and cry over the loss of a child which was never born. As long as he was in her womb, he was alive; he moved, he had a heart beat, and she loved him as much as any mother could love a child.
Should she have been allowed to have an abortion or should she be a criminal?
It Should be her choice. no one is responsible for anyone Else's soul though the Anti Abortionist , are so sure they got a Handel on what God thinks. I think they should give God credit, for being able to talk to others also. He is a Mighty God and need no one to Criticize for him. The spirit comes with the Breath of Air God Breaths in. who gained from the suffering that was done here?
Reply:I'm not exactly sure how she is a criminal. From your explanation, it sounds as if she was encouraged to abort the baby. She tried to save him and carry him to term, but it just wasn't feasible. It doesn't sound like she did anything wrong.
Reply:Your story has little or nothing to do with the issue of abortion.Even right to lifers respect that if the fetus is nonviable or if the mothers life is in danger abortions is right.
Reply:u cant blame her for trying to hold on to some hope there are so many stories of how the doctors were wrong and the baby was fine...miricals do happen to other people..it wouldnt have made it any easier if she had, had an abortion at an early stage u all still knew it was there.. sometimes life doesnt always go the way it should... sometimes other peoples desisions arnt what other people think they should be...she did what was right for her at the time and maternal instinct told her to hold on to hop...hey at times if we dont hols on to hope what much else have we got... take it easy on her weather u believe in god or not personally i dont but he isnt going to judge her for holding on to a baby that u knew was never gonna be...
Reply:There is no way she should be a criminal. It is hard when that happens. My mother in law had a still born baby and she regretted making the decision to carry it for as long as she could because it was more heartache. It's sad to say that no matter when he would have been born he would have been deceased. Sometimes it's easier to do it that way. I realise how devastating it can be but it's just nature (hate it or not). My sympathies to all though - it is so sad.
Reply:shoud've gotten an abortion
Reply:abortion is indeed murder, and i sympathize with you and your family. that is a tragic story. your sister had the right idea in trying to save a life, and there's nothing more she could have done. you and your family are good people.
safety boots
Should she have been allowed to have an abortion or should she be a criminal?
It Should be her choice. no one is responsible for anyone Else's soul though the Anti Abortionist , are so sure they got a Handel on what God thinks. I think they should give God credit, for being able to talk to others also. He is a Mighty God and need no one to Criticize for him. The spirit comes with the Breath of Air God Breaths in. who gained from the suffering that was done here?
Reply:I'm not exactly sure how she is a criminal. From your explanation, it sounds as if she was encouraged to abort the baby. She tried to save him and carry him to term, but it just wasn't feasible. It doesn't sound like she did anything wrong.
Reply:Your story has little or nothing to do with the issue of abortion.Even right to lifers respect that if the fetus is nonviable or if the mothers life is in danger abortions is right.
Reply:u cant blame her for trying to hold on to some hope there are so many stories of how the doctors were wrong and the baby was fine...miricals do happen to other people..it wouldnt have made it any easier if she had, had an abortion at an early stage u all still knew it was there.. sometimes life doesnt always go the way it should... sometimes other peoples desisions arnt what other people think they should be...she did what was right for her at the time and maternal instinct told her to hold on to hop...hey at times if we dont hols on to hope what much else have we got... take it easy on her weather u believe in god or not personally i dont but he isnt going to judge her for holding on to a baby that u knew was never gonna be...
Reply:There is no way she should be a criminal. It is hard when that happens. My mother in law had a still born baby and she regretted making the decision to carry it for as long as she could because it was more heartache. It's sad to say that no matter when he would have been born he would have been deceased. Sometimes it's easier to do it that way. I realise how devastating it can be but it's just nature (hate it or not). My sympathies to all though - it is so sad.
Reply:shoud've gotten an abortion
Reply:abortion is indeed murder, and i sympathize with you and your family. that is a tragic story. your sister had the right idea in trying to save a life, and there's nothing more she could have done. you and your family are good people.
safety boots
Do most relatives fight all the time over funeral arrangements and splitting of their parent's assets.?
How can we minimize hate, bitterness, hurt feelings, and anger this weekend when we meet to split up some of the stuff. It is only a month since mom died and I cannot understand the big rush to do it all now and in one day..they are all stressing me out. Is this normal..the family is real dysfunctional and my brother nearly attacked me twice..once from stress of the day and saying the flower spray was too much (at the most $50 over the cheapest one)..he screamed, said I weas lying to hiom and truying to chat him, vowed revenge and broke glass in the house and overturned books...another time went craxy because I wanted to ask the lawyer what a legal paper was before signing it..he screamed, im,plied he would cheat my on the will which he can do as to how it was written and demanded my mom's house key back..we did make up but this is crazy..I am dreading Sunday and feel I will get cheated, hurt feelings, and not the things I would like...I feel like not gouing but he said I need to go
Do most relatives fight all the time over funeral arrangements and splitting of their parent's assets.?
I don't know why but it seems like that's the way MANY families get when one passes away. From what I have seen in my own family and in families of others close to me it seems like you are definitely NOT alone. I don't know why it gets so ugly with everyone arguing over who gets what, who deserves what and so on. It all seems so petty and it brings out the ugliness you never knew existed in people. Maybe it's because of the hurt losing someone close brings and that many just don't know how to deal with it any other way. Maybe it's because everyone starts to scramble for material things that will remind them of that person, somehow feeling like you have something to remember them by. Or, maybe it's just greed...claiming what they feel they've earned.
Regardless of why, you aren't alone. You should go. It may be that the other members just want to get that settled so you can all start to move on. Try to stay above the pettiness. Don't let the others drag you into that. It sounds like your brother is not taking this well and he'll have to get past it on his own. You obviously are very different and that's probably why his behavior is so surprising to you. Go and meet with them and if things get out of hand, make sure your voice is heard. If you can, let them know how you feel and how much it hurts you to see everyone fighting. If that's out of the question, I would walk away. You don't need material things to remember her by and nothing material is worth getting vicious with family, no matter how dysfunctional they may be. If there are things you want, let them know right away and leave them to fight eachother for the rest. The last thing you need is this negativity when you are grieving from the loss of your mother. It will only bring more pain. Continue to be strong and protect yourself from any more. I hope it all works out. My condolences.
Reply:bally and threatened that the money owed me would not be given knowing I had no legal recourse due to how it was set up..it was all based on trust due to circumstances beyond our control.. Report It
Reply:I never dreamed I would be scapegoated this much. I was one of the few sane and rational ones and was roundly attacked. I will never get over how they treated me and especially the betrayal of my best friend brother who turned on me Report It
Reply:repeatedly in the last 6 weeks. when she died, the family did split.I feel now I want to have no contact and maybe even move to another state but wanting to see how it pans out when everyone calms down. Report It
Reply:Unfortunately, alot of families fight over meaningless material possessions. Whenever something like this occurs in my family, I volunteer that they can have anything they want except one thing and they can't have that. That is the quality of time I spent with my loved one before they passed. That is something nobody can take from me. And that is more precious than anything on earth.
Reply:So sorry for your loss.
Its a damn shame that some people cant even wait until parents are in the ground until they start with the "Wheres mine and OBTW..I deserve more because I did (fill in the blank)!"
Ive actually heard of knockdown drag outs at the funeral homes.
Reply:you said most...
and I would say,, yes...
but not all.. it is sad but true.. good luck..
Reply:I'm sorry for your loss. Yes it is normal for conflict and confusion. It sounds like your brother isn't coping too well. From my personal experience thereis usually at least one family member who for whatever reason and that is individual as we are. They can feel like they had a closer relationship with the person who's passed on and deserve more posessions than the others. A time that is hard for all made harder by unrealistic expectations. If he is the only male he may feel it is all his task. It wont make sense from others perspective. For whatever reson it is happening. You have as much right as any in the family and will be angry at yourself if you dont get that which is most dear to you. People deal with Grief and loss in many ways. One way to take emotion away is to seek legal representation or some kind of third party. Maybe talking to your brother about what is happening for him prior to the day may help. Not knowing your relationship makes that hard. Maybe some research on grief and loss.
I hope it works out for you.
Reply:Some people think that money and material possessions are the important things in life, only to find out that things only last for so long and money can only buy happiness for a short time. The important things can not be bought or stored on a shelf. You will only be cheated if possessions mean more than the relationship you had with your mother. I am sorry that you lost your mother, but honor her by not being like your brother.
Reply:Please accept my condolences, unfortunately a death
in the family can really bring out the ugly in people.
A lot of families hurt each other over possessions
that belonged to the deceased. They forget about the
need to be there to support each other. You have a
legal right to your inheritance how ever large or small
it is. You are your mother's child and as such you should
be able to question things. Don't allow anyone to get away
with trying to intimidate you.
Reply:I can not put it any better than LIPPIE
Reply:Memories are far more special than "things"
natural cleansing
Do most relatives fight all the time over funeral arrangements and splitting of their parent's assets.?
I don't know why but it seems like that's the way MANY families get when one passes away. From what I have seen in my own family and in families of others close to me it seems like you are definitely NOT alone. I don't know why it gets so ugly with everyone arguing over who gets what, who deserves what and so on. It all seems so petty and it brings out the ugliness you never knew existed in people. Maybe it's because of the hurt losing someone close brings and that many just don't know how to deal with it any other way. Maybe it's because everyone starts to scramble for material things that will remind them of that person, somehow feeling like you have something to remember them by. Or, maybe it's just greed...claiming what they feel they've earned.
Regardless of why, you aren't alone. You should go. It may be that the other members just want to get that settled so you can all start to move on. Try to stay above the pettiness. Don't let the others drag you into that. It sounds like your brother is not taking this well and he'll have to get past it on his own. You obviously are very different and that's probably why his behavior is so surprising to you. Go and meet with them and if things get out of hand, make sure your voice is heard. If you can, let them know how you feel and how much it hurts you to see everyone fighting. If that's out of the question, I would walk away. You don't need material things to remember her by and nothing material is worth getting vicious with family, no matter how dysfunctional they may be. If there are things you want, let them know right away and leave them to fight eachother for the rest. The last thing you need is this negativity when you are grieving from the loss of your mother. It will only bring more pain. Continue to be strong and protect yourself from any more. I hope it all works out. My condolences.
Reply:bally and threatened that the money owed me would not be given knowing I had no legal recourse due to how it was set up..it was all based on trust due to circumstances beyond our control.. Report It
Reply:I never dreamed I would be scapegoated this much. I was one of the few sane and rational ones and was roundly attacked. I will never get over how they treated me and especially the betrayal of my best friend brother who turned on me Report It
Reply:repeatedly in the last 6 weeks. when she died, the family did split.I feel now I want to have no contact and maybe even move to another state but wanting to see how it pans out when everyone calms down. Report It
Reply:Unfortunately, alot of families fight over meaningless material possessions. Whenever something like this occurs in my family, I volunteer that they can have anything they want except one thing and they can't have that. That is the quality of time I spent with my loved one before they passed. That is something nobody can take from me. And that is more precious than anything on earth.
Reply:So sorry for your loss.
Its a damn shame that some people cant even wait until parents are in the ground until they start with the "Wheres mine and OBTW..I deserve more because I did (fill in the blank)!"
Ive actually heard of knockdown drag outs at the funeral homes.
Reply:you said most...
and I would say,, yes...
but not all.. it is sad but true.. good luck..
Reply:I'm sorry for your loss. Yes it is normal for conflict and confusion. It sounds like your brother isn't coping too well. From my personal experience thereis usually at least one family member who for whatever reason and that is individual as we are. They can feel like they had a closer relationship with the person who's passed on and deserve more posessions than the others. A time that is hard for all made harder by unrealistic expectations. If he is the only male he may feel it is all his task. It wont make sense from others perspective. For whatever reson it is happening. You have as much right as any in the family and will be angry at yourself if you dont get that which is most dear to you. People deal with Grief and loss in many ways. One way to take emotion away is to seek legal representation or some kind of third party. Maybe talking to your brother about what is happening for him prior to the day may help. Not knowing your relationship makes that hard. Maybe some research on grief and loss.
I hope it works out for you.
Reply:Some people think that money and material possessions are the important things in life, only to find out that things only last for so long and money can only buy happiness for a short time. The important things can not be bought or stored on a shelf. You will only be cheated if possessions mean more than the relationship you had with your mother. I am sorry that you lost your mother, but honor her by not being like your brother.
Reply:Please accept my condolences, unfortunately a death
in the family can really bring out the ugly in people.
A lot of families hurt each other over possessions
that belonged to the deceased. They forget about the
need to be there to support each other. You have a
legal right to your inheritance how ever large or small
it is. You are your mother's child and as such you should
be able to question things. Don't allow anyone to get away
with trying to intimidate you.
Reply:I can not put it any better than LIPPIE
Reply:Memories are far more special than "things"
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