Funeral dilema?

The mother of my partners ex-wife has passed away. The ex-wife and I are not on good terms, yet I empathize with her situation as my own mother has passed. I have never met her mother, but I feel I should send my condolences simply for the loss she's experiencing. My fear is that she won't sense my sincerity and think I am doing this for another reason. Any thoughts on whether I should send flowers or a card or just do nothing.
Funeral dilema?
Flowers or card from "both" of you. You're paying your respects together. If she has a problem with that, then that's her problem. It shouldn't change you from doing the right thing. If your partner doesn't wish to make it a joint effort, then maybe just a card saying something about how your own loss makes you feel for hers. That way, in your own mind, you know you've done the right thing. Good luck, SS
Reply:At a time like that she will not be thinking about alterior motives she probably wont even notice
Reply:I think you should send her something only don't let her know it is from you. That way she will get it and keep it thinking it could be from anyone reaching out to her in her time of loss.
Reply:No, dont send anything. If you do, it will only be to make yourself feel better. You know you have real feelings of sympathy for her, leave it at that.
Reply:Send her a potted plant, and a card expressing your sympathy.
Reply:definitely send your condolences. whether she sees sincerity in it or not is her own problem. at least let her know that you care, which you obviously do.
Reply:check to see if they have posted any charaties. when my mother passed my dad asked for dontations to be made to asotiations my mom had been involved in, rather than flowers. I think you chould send your condolences in anyway you see fit.
Reply:You are a very kind and thoughtful individual. It can't hurt to send her a short note on nice stationary... write a something like "Having recently lost my own mother, please accept my sincere condolences upon the passing of your beloved mother. Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers." And I'd only send this if you know for a fact that she actually loved her mother!
Reply:If you have any true sympathy for them by their loss, by all means send a card. Dont do it otherwise. Who they(the deseased) are or were related to should have no impact on what you feel for the recipients loss.