Sending something because of a death, can anyone help me please?

My husbands father just passed away, his wife is a very nice lady who will be bombarded with flowers, I was wondering would it be innapropriate to send a gift/food basket instead of flowers, that was filled with morning breakfast/coffee items, instead of traditional fruit....I'm thinking, she doesn't need more flowers that are going to have to be thrown away in a while, it is winter where she is so a plant isn't practical, and traditional funeral type plants/flowers she will get so many, what does anyone think on this, greatly appreciated.....
Sending something because of a death, can anyone help me please?
That sounds like a thoughtful alternative.

When my dad died, we received so many flowers, cards, and fruit baskets (oh my, the fruit flies were horrible!).



My mom was a widow with three minor kids, and she appreciated the people that volunteered to watch us while she made arrangements, or the meals that were prepared so she didn't have to worry about it, and the ladies from church who came over and cleaned our house up a bit. If geographical restrictions aren't an issue and she is your mother-in-law, maybe you could send a fruit basket or gift basket, but also volunteer your time or talents. Just a thought...
Reply:You're welcome!

Whatever you decide to give, I'm sure the thought itself will be appreciated. I hope you had a Happy Thanksgiving, and my condolences on the loss your family suffers. Report It
Reply:My mother who just lost her husband wants to send alot of people something like a gift because of his death. This is very unusual I think because I told her that generally people give presents to the family or loved one of the deceased and not the other way around but she told me "Shows you how much you know!"
Reply:A thoughtful gift is always appreciated, and I think that your idea is a great one. Maybe try to include one of her favorites if you know her well enough.



If you're going to do this online, I've had great luck with delightfuldeliveries.com. I don't work for them, just.. they've always sent things in a timely fashion.



Good luck, and I'm sorry for your loss. Hope this helps.
Reply:I think that it's always the thought that counts. I think it's very sweet of you to be thinking of your mother in law that way. Just a thought, I'd make sure that the basket doesn't contain perishables, because when my father in law passed, my mother in law got TONS of food brought in by the church ladies. My hubby and his siblings even joked that it seemed like these ladies just sit around, waiting for people to die (or go to hospital) so that they can bring in casseroles, coffee cakes, jello salads, etc. :-) They wound up donating all the flowers to a nursing home in the area after the funeral, which is something you might want to suggest to your mother in law. Also, many families will also request that donations be made in memory of the deceased to a charity. My deepest sympathy is with your family at this time. God bless!
Reply:It depends on religions and upbrining. It sounds very nice to do. A fruit basket also is acceptable.
Reply:this might help

How to Create a Gift Basket for Someone Who Is Mourning

http://www.ehow.com/how_6797_create-gift...

and Sympathy Gift Baskets

http://www.gourmetgiftbaskets.com/Sympat...
Reply:The basket sounds like a nice idea. Flowers are nice but they will only last a few days.

Im sure she'll appreciate whatever you decide to send her, just knowing that you are thinking of her at this time.
Reply:Yes, send the gift/food basket. You're right, the flowers will be thrown out. At least this way, when she doesn't want to cook, she will have some easy treats and coffee. I think she has a very nice daughter-in-law to send such a thoughtful gift. I am so sorry for your family's loss.
Reply:I think that would be very thoughtful of you.I would definitely give her the coffee basket that's a great idea .
Reply:i would suggest a nice bottle of wine/champange. When my grandmother passed away we recieved a few gift baskets, it didnt offend us in anyway so i believe it is an appropritae gift
Reply:For me, it is inappropriate too to give flowers to show our respect or what so ever...why not give a card with beautiful words that can help the family to overcome the grief. Or perhaps prayer to God are much better than rotten flowers.
Reply:Yes, as long as she likes coffee, send it. Kudos to you.
Reply:Whatever you send will be appropriate. I was in the same situation a while back, and even though I shared in the purchase of a family flower basket, I wanted to give something that would last longer and be from just me. I had a terrarium of small house plants arranged which didn't require much care. A fruit basket is nice and the basket could be used for other things.
Reply:Yes, anything that is not a "present" type gift.
Reply:I think it is a very thoughtful gift idea, if she drinks coffee and tea and enjoys fruit. This will probably be comforting to her on those sleepless evening when she is unable to rest thinking about him and missing him. She can have some herbal tea to relax. God bless****
Reply:If she likes coffee it might very well be appropriate. Be careful not to make it appear too festive, given the occasion.



You might also throw in some oranges and other appropriate fruits just for balance and be sure to enclose a nice card.



Definitely ask your husband what he thinks before you decide. Appropriateness, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.



You have several beholders who could be happy or upset depending on how they see things.