Monday, January 30, 2012

This is a hard one. Should I go to my ex boyfriends funeral?

My ex boyfriends just died in a car accident. We were together for a year and broke up 3 months ago. I have met someone else who I am in love with. My ex's family told me about the funeral and would like me to be there. I want to remember my ex like he was, also I didn't plan on seeing him again after we broke up. I am very sad he died and I am going to go to where he died and put some flowers there and tell him goodbye. I loved him very much but we just did not get along and thats why we broke up. Does anyone have any good advice?
This is a hard one. Should I go to my ex boyfriends funeral?
yes, out of RESPECT....
Reply:If you loved him, and have any of those caring feelings for him now- then I would go. Chances are, saying goodbye would be good for you. If you don't, you will probobly regret it later.

Besides, if his family asked you to go, it would be respectful to do so.
Reply:I think that if you don't go it will bother you in later years . Life is funny that way . Old loves an d feelings are remembered when you get old and have time to reminisce . Right now it seems all so far away but it really is not . You cared about him once , you were together for quite a while. His family must have thought a lot about you otherwise they would not have told you . Do take the time off from work and attend the funeral. Tell him good bye there and not along a street .

It will close a chapter .
Reply:Go. You had some good times with him, don't risk regretting not going. They can only bury him once.



I think if things ended well, he would want you to be there.



Go, pay your respects, and say goodbye.



My opinion.
Reply:Go if you want it is up to you.



Myself I would go to pay my respects
Reply:i would encourage u to go... aft breakup ur r still frenz rite... since tis is his last journey juz accompany him for the last time... i believe in a phase "once frenz , forever frenz"... what happen in the past hv already past, wad is left r juz memories...since he is already gone, juz treasure the good memories u hv with him and forget about the unhappiness... i believe dat he want u to be dere too...
Reply:Go to the funeral. The family requested that you be there. Your new boyfriend shouldn't have a problem with it so I'd say yes go, it's the right thing to do.
Reply:That is though just go to the funeral it will be like a last kiss or something just go and be there because if you dont and they invited you then it will mean alot to them dont reject an invitation especially when that's the last time you will ever see him
Reply:yes, you HAVE to. I mean it comes done to you, but dont you think that if he would be in your position he would go. That would be like me saying, "im not going to my dads funeral b-c we never really got along". SAME THING!!! If you did truly love him, then that love never fanished. There is still a part of you that misses him. so take my advice and go. Go and see his face one more time...
Reply:GO! if you ever had feelings for him you need to go. Esp-if his family thinks so!!
Reply:yes of course, and if the new guy doesn't understand then say bye bye!
Reply:YES!!!!



Death is much more important than a triffling breakup b/w boyfriend and girlfriend. Your relationship with him --- though special in its own rite to you two --- has little to do with what the funeral entails. A funeral is an overall celebration and remembrance of this man's life.



Plus, the family invited you so I'm sure there are no HUGE gaping wounds that will effect you being there. Think girl!
Reply:go to the funeral, it would really help the family to see you there, b/c they may think that you're holding a grudge but please go and support the family.
Reply:My advice would be to go pay your respects. If the family thinks enough of you to call you with details, and you i'm sure, still love him, then you should go. Your boyfriend now should understand. But it will help you say goodbye and you know he would want you there anyhow. It's not like your going cuz you are wanting to be with him, you are going out of love ans respect for him and his family. You should go! Good luck! and Sorry for the lose!
Reply:I would go if I were you. Especially if his parents asked you to go. You did love him. Sorry for the loss.
Reply:I think you should..because if you ever really loved him to begin with you just don't stop loving someone. However, if it makes you uncomfortable then don't go. It's over...pay your respects and move on.
Reply:Follow you heart and do exactly as you said you are wanting to do here. Call his family after the service and tell them you were just too upset to face that and then go put the flowers out. God Bless You.
Reply:It might help bring closure for you to attend the funeral services, and his family would probably appreciate your presence. You spent a year with this guy and his family probably developed real affection for you. Nevertheless, it's your choice as to whether you attend the funeral services. Everyone grieves in their own way, so it's okay whatever you choose to do.
Reply:If it would mean a lot to his family, then please go to the funeral to show them that you care.



You can still "remember him as he was", you don't have to view his body unless you want to.



It may be difficult, but put yourself in their position, you obviously meant a lot to them and they care about you enough to invite you.



Good Luck!
Reply:It would probably be very healing for you to go. Hopefully, the new person in your life won't mind. If you go, I'd suggest you go alone. It would mean a lot to his family.
Reply:Yes, you definitely have to go!!!
Reply:You need to go..it wouldnt be right not to..you need to think if you was him..do you think he would go to yours?



BUT YOU NEED TO GO!
Reply:From your description of the situation I'd say that you since you once "loved" him you need to pay your last respects amongst others that loved him too. I'm unsure of the extenuating circumstances of your breakup, but nevertheless, death is the finality of everything and all should be given I believe.... you'll feel better if you pay your respects becaus if you don't go I guarantee you'll regret it (otherwise why would you ask for advice about something you didn't care about)
Reply:My cousin just went through the same thing. She is remarried now and when he died the family called and wanted her to come and see them and go to the funeral and they even wanted her to sit in the family section with them at the funeral (she was very close to his family as well). She ended up going because even though they were broken up they were friends before and it is more like being support for his family (and they probably need all the support they can get). Hopefully your new boyfriend will understand if he loves you!
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