Wake or funeral? Or both?

My sister's brother in law committed suicide. We are not a close family. We only get together on father's day or when someone dies or in hospital.(this is since my mother's passing 10 yrs ago). She has been married to her highschool sweetheart for 25 yrs, so there are times I have met her brother in law,weddings,ect.My question is should I go to the wake or funeral or both? I'm uncomfortable already about the way he died , not very good at knowing what to say at funerals. I can't avoid both. Was planning on sending flowers and cards. But I feel I should go to one or the other, or both. I'm not a cold hearted person it's just that we really don't keep in touch anymore. Seems like it's always only if it's a thing for my dad or we don't even talk. Would like some input. I would like to let her know I care but I'm uncomfortable at social gatherings,especially when It's such a sad occasion. Please help.
Wake or funeral? Or both?
I can understand you feeling uncomfortable in situations like these but i am sure your sister would really appreciate you there for her.I know you didn't have much to do with this person but its OK for anyone to go to a funeral to pay their respects.If you do decide to go along, don't feel as though you have to go to both, wake and funeral.Your presence will be acknowledged and that doesn't have to be at both.Do what you think is right and that you are happy with.
Reply:layla - your sister's brother-in-law is sort of a relative (was he your sister's husband's brother?), and you knew him, too. You can probably skip the wake but probably should go to the funeral. Also, send a condolence card to the family and flowers.
Reply:Whatever makes you as comfortable as possible, as long as you pay your respects.
Reply:You should go to both so you can comfort your sister even though your not a close family but they need you right now in this time of need
Reply:i know how u feel.... i'm not good with funerals either. i would probably send flowers and send HER a card. i would explain to her how i feel, and let her know how that i am truly sorry for her lost. and i would make a brief appearance at the wait.