We just found out that our neighbor passed away. What can I do for the surviving widow and her family?
If you want to do it, yes, it's right.
Reply:Yes, cooking is a good idea. Also, do not ask her how to help, do it yourself. Look around, see if there is anything you could do to make her feel better. if the has garbage that needs to be taken do it. Plants need watering? Do it for her. Also, since you are living close, see when the family is leaving... if they leave her early, come over and ask if she would like you to sit with her a little... sometimes just being there helps a lot.
Reply:Food is good.....if she has a lawn, go mow it, do little things to assist. Just being there for her and her fam.
Reply:She's probably overwhelmed with food right now with everyone dropping by, most churches provide lots of food for their members during this time.. So, you've already done a lot of kindness. Why not wait a couple of weeks and call her and say you've prepared a special dish, such as a casserole, or baked a ham, and would like to share it with her, and ask what would be a good time to drop by with it. Include a small dessert. Also, stay and visit a while to chat . She'll appreciate it more then, rather that now, because there is so much going on at this time, she's like you said in shock and won't remember much.
Reply:I think that it would be great to bring over food. Just don't forget that when people leave and she is alone with her family, that is the time to do nice things for her. Perhaps you could bring them dinner or offer to help with her children, driving them somewhere, etc. After the shock wears off, that is the time she will feel it the most. She will be lonely and needs friends to care about her.
Your kindness is wonderful!!
Reply:The flowers and attending the funeral are certainly a good start. Bringing food over would certainly be acceptable etiquette and a kind gesture. Casseroles are handy because they can be frozen for later as well. If there are children, hers or visitors', perhaps you could offer to watch them for awhile. If it snows where you live, grab a shovel and hit the sidewalks. If it's freezing, scrape her car windows. Go over and clean the house if you are comfortable with that. I think the most important thing to remember is that if you see something that needs to be done, just do it - she might not accept an offer to help, but would most likely be grateful for the assistance.
You sound like a very thoughtful neighbor!
Reply:yeah that would be a great idea, and u could also visit her like once a week, just to check up on her. just keep being a good neighbor and she'll see that she has someone out of the her family who cares.
Reply:I think that's a great idea. Or you can buy a fruit basket with cheeses etc. Most of the time greiving families have a hard time eating or getting the motivation to cook. This will help them have some food. Perhaps you can make something that won't go bad quickly so they can freeze/refridgerate it in case they don't have an appetite right away.
Another thing you can do, obviously, is just spend time with her. Invite her over for a coffee or bring some food over and have dinner with her. She may want to be alone for a while, but i'm sure she'll appreciate some company at some point.
Reply:Well a large amount of food isn't the right way to go but maybe a gift for there house or bake a cake and go to there house and give it to them personally and if u do do a cake write something on top like: the memory of _ ( then name of whoever died) thats the best gift ive given now we r like practicly family for wat ive done!!!
Reply:Only if they are having a lot of people over to eat all that food. Otherwise it will just create the problem of dealing with the leftovers.
One service she will probably be needing is someone to keep track of who sends what (flowers, food, condolence letters %26amp; cards, etc) and to write out thank you notes for these people. Use plain or black bordered paper and hand write out something like "Dear Mr Davis, Anita wants you to know how much she appeciates the card you sent. Knowing of your sympathy is a comfort in her time of grief. Yours truly, Lydia Keyes (Anita's neighbor)"
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