Friday, January 27, 2012

Should I feel bad about not attending a funeral?

The mother of the landlord died. She lived next door to me and was a grand old lady. However, I didn't know she'd died nor that there was a funeral until about 2 hours before the event.



The landlord knocked on my door this afternoon and told me his mother had died and that the service was to be held at 2 p.m. and the location. He said he'd tried to reach me a couple of times earlier in the week but couldn't.



As I'd planned a lazy Sunday, I hadn't eaten yet or showered yet. There's no way that I could have showered, eaten, gotten my clothes ready and driven to the service in time to make it.



Yet, still I feel bad that I'm not able to attend this lady's funeral. Ordinarily, I would have sent flowers, a card and attended not only the service but the wake, had I known.
Should I feel bad about not attending a funeral?
no, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.



a funeral is a very personal thing.

lots of people attend it to make social talk...

that is not what it is meant for.



If you care, you can remember her in your own time, when your mind is open for it.



Doesn't have to be that exact day.



People who comment on that, hardly ever know what they are talking about...

don't feel bad about that!!
Reply:id would depend why you missed it if you missed it because you didn't want to go -then yes you should feel bad but if you missed it because you got in traffic or a wreck don't feel as bed
Reply:It was not your fault that you had such short notice,mate.
Reply:you shouldn't feel bad about it, your showing you care by worrying about it, however, you should never worry about what your going to wear to a funeral, because you turn up to pay your respects and say your own goodbye. moreover you didn't know about it until an hour or so before, if you really feel bad why don't you send a card to the family, and explain to the landlord.
Reply:Don't feel guilty as your landlord could have left you a letter earlier in the week. It isn't your fault you didn't know sooner.
Reply:iy depends.

was it on short notice?

then no.

did you just feel like not going?

then yes.

think.
Reply:yeah you should've went

its called resepct for the dead
Reply:You are obviously a caring and thoughtful young man. Don't beat yourself up. You just remember the old lady with kind thoughts and that will be enough.
Reply:yes u have no respect for the dead
Reply:it's not too late to send flowers and a condolence card
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