Should I go to this funeral?

My sister's father in law passed away on Wednesday. The wake is Sunday, the Funeral is Monday. I am defiantly sending flowers, but do I need to go to the funeral? It would be a 10 hour drive one way for me to get there, and I can't take a plane.

I just started a new job 2 weeks ago, and while I know they would understand, I have some staff issues that I would to deal with ASAP.



I also only met the man a handful of times. I don't get along with my brother-in-law, we don't talk, and my sister tends to only call me when he's not around (its a long story).



Additionally my sister and I weren't speaking to each other for two years, which ended last August (its part of the long story).



I should also mention when my father died, a lot of my brother in law's family came to the funeral, but they all lived in the area.



Also my two brothers are going, but they also live in the same area as the funeral.



Should i go?
Should I go to this funeral?
You know you don't want to, that is so obvious, so don't go. Sounds like if you go you'd probably have another long story to tell us. I say stay away, send a sympathy card and flowers.
Reply:send the flowers.her husband doesnt like u u dont need to be around him
Reply:Sending the flowers is a great gesture! You don't have to go if its too much of a hassle! Plus, its not like you are the one married to that family anyway your sister should e the one that need to show up! Sending the flowers and a phone is good enough!
Reply:it's unanimous....you sent flowers...you just started your job...and you only met him a handful of times...you do not have to justify this anymore...let me even put it this way...even if you liked her fatherinlaw...you do not have to go out of your way (10 hours) to prove anything...it's not your immediate family...
Reply:No need to go. If they are mature adults, they will understand your situation. sending your condolences will be just fine.
Reply:Send flowers. If you don't think it is enough, send a Western Union Telegram. As an African American, I know that is another tradition in our churches. They usually read the telegrams and well wishes during the ceremony.
Reply:No. Explain about the new job and the 10 hour drive if asked. Send flowers and a card, then call to make sure it was received.
Reply:NO, i would send the flowers though.
Reply:NO, flowers is fine and if you want to do more send a fruit basket to the house but I personally won't go.
Reply:I think in your case sending flowers will be enough and make some calls. Explain that you can't afford to fly home and with the new job, it's simply impossible. However, when you do have the opportunity, maybe show up at your sister's house with a bouquet of flowers and go out to the grave to pay your respects.



By the way, make the flowers you send to the funeral something really impressive and send a note saying how much you wish you could be there to support your family.
Reply:Not if you don't want to. Nor would I stress over this. If it was a local funeral then that would be different. Just explain this to sister. I am sure they will understand.
Reply:no u don't need to go, just send flowers, as u don't live in the area and it would take alot to get there for u. just call your sister and give your condolences and that will be enough.
Reply:It sounds like you've got your answer already. If it is going to be a burden, check with the funeral home on sending a donation in his memory to the charity the family chose and send a sympathy card to the family and one to your sister %26amp; her husband. I can't imagine that your sister, her husband and his family would hold it against you.
Reply:No. Send the flowers. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty. It is your choice.
Reply:No, you dont have to go. You live too far flowers would be fine.