What to do at a funeral?
you approach and shake all hands offered and generally say somethign along the lines of ' am sorry for your loss' etc - Flowers - depends if required some people want a donation to charity etc - stay as long as is comfortable with other people wih a similar relation to the dead - so in this case as long as other friends stay
Reply:could say any one of the following:
I am so sorry.
Tell me how I can help, I want to be here for you.
I'm praying for you.
Would it help if we prayed together?
[Name of deceased] was a good person and friend of mine. He/She will be missed.
Would you like a hug?
Please tell me what you are feeling right now, I have never been through something like this and can only imagine.
What do you need right now?
It's ok if you do not feel like talking right now. Just know that I am here to listen whenever you are ready.
My sympathy to you and your family
Reply:Sometimes a hug or a firm hand shake is enough. My mother has a herb garden and on the rare occasions when she attends a funeral, she will pick some flowers out of her herb garden which, I think, is rather special. Don't stay longer than you're comfortable with.
Reply:God Almighty wish us to weep with those who weep, so be there stay close to them, shake hands, even hugs or holding hands at such occasions brings comfort. If they wish to share something with u listen carefully and respond sincerely, compassionately, whatever spoken from sincerity will b good enough for the moment! Roses have soothing effect, and a mixture of red and white r meant for such occasions (heard so)
Reply:extend your sympathy and let them know the person will be missed. If there is a service you may stay for the service. Often there are envelopes for a memorial. You may put in money if you wish, it is not mandatory.
Reply:approach the family before the service starts, it is more respectful than after, when emotions are high and well basically they want to be left alone, ask them if there is anything you can do to help them out, IE making food and bringing it over, cutting the grass, babysit. - the trivial everyday things get over looked and are sometimes the hardest to accomplish when facing a loss.
As for the I'm sorry, it really only makes the person saying it feel better, just tell them that you are there for them if they need anything - even if it is just to cry or talk in the middle of the night.
flowers, anything that is not too colorful or cheery. most people now-a-days are opting to have friends make a donation to the deceased's favorite charity, or you can take the $ you would have spent on flowers and put it in an envelope for the family. funeral costs are horribly expensive.
if they are friends, after the service, ask if there is anything you can do to help clean up, there will be prayer cards, tons of people and flowers everywhere that will need to be taken home, one thought to suggest is that you help gather the flowers and ask if they want them at home or donated to maybe a nursing home, where people can enjoy them. it is really sad for most people to have to have all of the flowers at home and watch them die.
Reply:If they are friends of the family, simply tell her you are sorry about her loss. Give her a hug if you are comfortable doing this. Having close friends and family by your side at this time is comforting. Let her know if there is anything you can do to help her, that you are there for her. Most importantly, don't ignore her. She is going through a very emotional and difficult time, and will need support from those around her.
Reply:be short and sincere "I am so sorry about your loss" "you and your family are in my prayers at this time"
have the florist deliver the flowers, or you may want to choose a plant instead of a flower arrangement
stay to the end of the service, express your sympathy to the family, and get out. The family is exhausted and overwhelmed and really not up to a crowd
Reply:Say that you are very sorry for there loss and if there is anything that you can do to help you will always be there, tell the mother that her son/daughter ect. was such a nice person to be with, take white tulips or white roses, nothing bright just a very pale colour flower, stay until the whole funeral is finnished but dont be the one to first leave because it will look like you just want to get out of there (even if you do)......
Reply:Honestly, I had to do this because I'm kinda a dry person.
Deprive yourself of sleep, and watch sad movies, and pretend that the person dying in the movie, is the person mentioned.
That will instill sincerity and if you dont, they will definitely be able to tell that you dont want to be there.
Reply:Alright, ignore the previous answers and listen to some common sense.
Don't say something you do not mean. If you are not prepared to take them in for a week or so whilst they get their head around things, don't say ' if there is anything I can do for you'
Approach when they come to you. Say you are sorry for their loss and don't make any promises.
Ask the florist for some flowers for a funeral, they have more experience than you do. And leave it at that.
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