What to wear and bring to a funeral?

My friend's mom died. This is my first ever funeral so I'm lost. What am I suppose to wear and what flowers are appropriate? I have a pair of black slacks and a black business suit jacket. Is that appropriate for a funeral? Also I was thinking instead of flowers I was going to make a condolence poster. In Loving Memory of.. Her mom's picture and name along with a lot of tiny pictures from the old days. Her mom participated in a lot of our school's activities. Then we all sign it at the funeral. Is that a good idea or should I bring flowers instead. Also I want to bring a friend along. The thing I'm dreading is my friend that I want to bring along is Jewish. He's since become orthodox. My friend who's mom died is Mormon and it's at a church. Shoudl I bring my friend along? They knew each other back in high school but haven't talked since.
What to wear and bring to a funeral?
Wear a nice outfit as if you were attending church- your outfit sounds appropriate. I would skip bringing the poster and flowers. Check back with them in a few days after things have calmed down- maybe you can offer to bring them something then, or do a favor like wash their car. It's the thought that counts, and the gesture will be appreciated. Just be there to support them at the service.





Maybe you can make a little album for them instead of a poster, take it to them later.
Reply:Flowers, not the poster



Bring your friend...no big deal



Wear the clothes you described.
Reply:For my Mom's funeral, they all wore dark blue in mormon town UT. They bought the flowers in the circular thingie and flowers in baskets, stuff like that and flowers to lay on top of the casket, I guess just ask the flower shop for a flower arrangement for a funeral and they can put togtehr something you can afford.
Reply:Where I live, no one ever brings flowers to a funeral. If you want to give flowers, have them sent from a florist. They will deliver them before the funeral.



I have never been to a Mormon funeral, but the ones I have been to---you wouldn't even be able to talk to the relatives till after the funeral if they serve a little lunch or gather in another room.



Do not bring a poster. I would get a small 4x6 photo album and put the pictures in it. Wait till after the funeral to give that to her.



But you don't HAVE to give anything! Just a sympathy card would be enough.
Reply:now a days you don't have to be as dressed up to go to funerals, but i say go with the classics and wear a nice,black dress. the poster idea is a really great idea and i think that it will really show how much that person meant to people. Don't be afraid to bring a friend, religion doesn't matter in these situations. all that matters is that the family knows that people care.. good luck funerals are always tougher than you expect them to be
Reply:wear anything that fits the event, so darker colors and more modest cuts are appropriate . the slacks and suit jacket sound great. Fairly mild makeup would be good.

The poster sounds great, I dont know about doing it at the funeral though, it would be ok if you can do it quietly, maybe during the visitation , if they do that .

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The jewish friend is OK. Perhaps call the church in advance and ask if thats going to be OK.
Reply:It is not common for one to bring a guest to a funeral however, funerals are for anyone who wants to show their respect for the deceased or the family. So, if your friend wants to attend, it is fine. He should not expect the funeral to cater to Jewish traditions.

It is a good gesture to present your memorial, but I would not take it to the funeral. Better to give it to your friend afterward.



I suggest you ware something conservative. No bright colors and very little skin showing.
Reply:Soo many questions?

Today, you can wear anything, but conservative is best.

The poster idea is really great.

Religion doesn't matter, if they were friends is all that matters.

Funerals are for the living, not the dead.
Reply:It's a funeral, like any funeral. A nice black pant suit is appropriate, I think.



About the poster, you should OK it with the family, but it sounds like a nice thing to do.



And there's no problem with the Jewish friend coming, as long as he doesn't have a problem with it.



It's really a good place to learn about what Mormons really believe about life and death and all that. I've been to funerals where a eulogy can honor the dead person AND be a good testimony for the gospel. And no one is going to try to pressure you to join or anything. The family is the ones pretty much in charge of the service.
Reply:I am sorry to hear of your loss. If you think you are lost, just think about your friend.



Having been in a similar place as your friend, I can say that your reassuring presence, love and understanding are the most appreciated and important to all concerned.



To do something special to show remembrance is a very nice gesture, but I think another later and private time would be more appropriate and appreciated. Sending flowers for the service is always appropriate. You might also ask your friend what she might want. She will probably say 'your presence'. I would let their customs and rituals set the pace of the moment.



If your other friend wants to come along, let him come, or not, of his own free will. You need not feel responsible in any way. I would dress nicely and conservatively and not worry about technical details too much. This is not one of those times where it is appropriate to bring attention to yourself. Try to relax and watch what happens, especially since this is something new.



Just give your friend and her family big hugs, and be there to listen when they have something to say. Also, be there to listen to your friend in the weeks and months ahead. The grieving process does not pass quickly, and there is no better way to be a friend.



Kind Regards to All
Reply:Your clothing choice sounds fine.



Flowers are the traditional item to bring to a funeral, if you aren't able to spend around $50 dollars for an arrangement you can bring 2 roses, one for your friend that lost the parent, and one for the casket. If you are able to spend the money, you can order an arrangement over the phone at any florist with instructions to the location, time and date of the funeral.



Though the poster is a good idea, you might want to reconsider and make a photo album instead. Your friend will probably want to hold on to the photos for a long time, and a poster may get beat up over the years. A photo album will last much longer.



If you choose to give your friend the album or poster, don't wrap it as a gift because this is not a gift giving situation. I would suggest to wait until the reception after the funeral, and hand the item to your friend. Don't expect a thanks or words of gratitude, your friend may not even look at it for a while after you hand it to him or her.



There should be no problem with bringing along a companion to the service, it helps to have support in an uncomfortable environment. Do not feign false sorrow, and don't be overly vocal. Also, it doesn't matter what religion a person is when you go to a funeral, you are only there to give respect to the person that passed and to support the family and friends.
Reply:The outfit you describe is appropriate. Bringing your friend is fine as long as he is willing to participate in the services or if he is not he should stand in the back so as not to draw attention. The poster, while a nice idea should be given to the family discretely before hand so they can determine if they want to display it or not. Some people are more reserved than others.



Where I live we never bring flowers but we have them delivered to the funeral parlor by the florist so as not to have to have them fussed with while people are grieving. We usually do not bring anything with us. It only makes the mourning family have to deal with it.



The focus is to be on the deceased and those who suffer at her loss. With that in mind, go, offer your condolences. Offer to help in anyway possible and let them decide if they want to talk or just be quiet.



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