How should I help my neighbor deal with the loss of her very young children?

I just moved in a few weeks ago and don't really know my neighbors yet. Sadly to say, one of my neighbors (going through a divorce) lost her 1 and 2 y/o children a few days ago in a car accident where the dad was drunk driving and crashed (he was not injured). I sent flowers to the funeral home. Is there anything else I should do? I don't think she is home very often to go over and see. Should I ask other neighbors who know her more if there is anything I can do? It is a really sad time right now, and I would like to do something. Your advice is greatly appreciated!!
How should I help my neighbor deal with the loss of her very young children?
that horrible, you could ask if she would want help with housework, as there is only so much food trays she could use, that might be a good place to start,
Reply:Usually when someone looses family members you offer to cook a meal or two for them.
Reply:Wow. I don't think there's really anything that anybody can do. Sometimes the best thing to do is give a person their privacy while at the same time doing an act of service to remind them that they are being though of. I would not get in her face, visit, call etc...... Just deliver some food, have your spouse mow the lawn, send her a note signed by members of your church letting her know your support. That's what I would want somebody to do for me.
Reply:Definitely I would talk to the other neighbors. It also would be nice to send a card (or place a note on the door or in the mailbox) offering to help run errands, dogsit, get her mail if she's gone, mow the lawn, or just have a cup of coffee and talk - about anything, or nothing.



Keep offering.
Reply:First off that is very sad and horrible. I hope her ex husband goes to jail for a very long time. Secondly, I think you should send a sympathy card to her home with your number in there and let her know if she ever needs to talk, or wants to just get out of the house you'll be there for her. That way if she wants to she will call you, and you won't be a bother during this very hard time.
Reply:Hi my friend,





Oh! my God! I do agree, this is not a easy situation to lived for. And I know, it's not easy for the family or nobody else.



As you don't really know your neighbour, you can maybe do ...:



- You can sending her a plate of food;



- To some babysitting; (free of charge)



- Pass some time with her and the son;



- Send her a sympathy card toward the Lott of her kid;



- Send her a plate of something you have done yourself;



- Offer yourself to do some home works with her other son;

(free of charge)



- Take the kid, to the movie, the restaurant, the store or buy a treat;



- Yes, you can asked some feedback from the other neighbour toward that family;



I'm sure your be doing a very good job and neighbour toward your new neighbour. From her side, I know she will appreciate every minutes of what you will be doing for her in this circumstances. Keep up the good work, there.





As I would say ...: "What goes around, comes around".



May God bless and protects you for what you are doing right now, my friend. One, day it Will come back to you.
Reply:That's so rough...



One of the best things anyone has done for me when I've been in mourning is having others bring over food or offer to run errands. After the first month passes some people feel that their loved ones who offered support before aren't as present as they used to be. The real support comes months or a year down the road. Don't worry about saying the right thing, just be there to listen.
Reply:A few years ago I had a neighbor who lost her 3 year son. Just let her know that you're there for her if she would like to talk, and give her a hug. Sometimes just lending an ear is the best thing to do.
Reply:Oh my god, that is horrible. She must be dying inside. The pain and guilt she must feel. God, my heart goes out to her. It's a hard situation, it's your instinct to go over and want to help her. However, not really knowing her, you don't know how she'll accept you. I would ask the other neighbors. Also, there are things you can do for her without even talking to her. Send over food, make a gift basket with tea, bubble bath and candles. Send her a card with your phone number in it and tell her if there is anything she needs, or would just like company to call you.
Reply:Send thinking of you cards to her every once in awhile with your contact information. If she ever gets over it, it will be a long time before she feels up to chit chat.



Keep an eye on her house and watch for anything suspicious - from thieves to not seeing her around for a long time. Do not hesitate to talk to your neighbours to find out what is "normal" and what seems strange. Call for help when in doubt.